Q&A at DSMC Global Sitting Group - Oct 11, 2020

Good afternoon, good evening, wherever you might be. I wanted to talk about the six R's in relation to right effort. And I wanted to explain how right effort and the six R's are intertwined and connected. What is right effort in the context of the Dhamma? It's within the Eightfold Path, and within that are the four strivings, or the four right efforts.

The first one is preventing unwholesome states from arising, essentially preventing distractions from arising. Arisen unwholesome states. The third is to bring up wholesome states, wholesome qualities of mind. And the fourth is to maintain those wholesome states. Now, when you prevent these unwholesome states from arising, you do so when you recognize that you've been distracted. The moment you recognize that you were distracted, you prevent any further distractions from arising, any further hindrances from distracting your mind from your object of meditation.

And then when you release your attention from that distraction, you are abandoning the unwholesome states or the hindrances. You're releasing your attention from that distraction, and then you relax the mind and the body. You relax the tension that's already arisen in the mind and the body that comes from that craving, that comes from that mind that wants, that personalizes, or that mind that tries to prevent certain states from arising.

So in essence, when you abandon your mind, abandon these states. You are releasing and you are relaxing. And it's important not to fight what has already arisen, which means you don't push it down. You don't try to fight with it. That's the reality of the situation where there are unwholesome states that have arisen. Hindrances have arisen. That's okay. Let it be. Let it go. Release your attention from it. Let go of the craving.

Let go of the tension by relaxing the tension in the mind and the body. Then when you come back to your smile, if you've forgotten to smile or you're already smiling, you're making sure that you're smiling. And that's bringing up that wholesome quality of mind. As soon as you smile, you are allowing your mind to lighten up. There's a physiological connection between the smile and the way that the mind works.

Whenever the mind is in a light mood, whenever the mind is uplifted, you generally are smiling, and vice versa. When you are smiling, you allow the mind to lighten up. You allow the mind to come back into wholesome quality. When you re-smile and you come back to that object of meditation again, which is one of the Brahma Viharas, which could be loving kindness, it can be compassion, it can be joy, it can be equanimity, or it could be your tranquil mind, you are essentially bringing up wholesome states. You are bringing up wholesome qualities of mind. That is the third right effort.

Finally, the fourth right effort is to maintain that. And how you maintain that is by continuing with the practice. You allow the object of meditation, whatever it may be, one of the Brahma Viharas or your tranquil mind, to keep flowing. It's just a steady flow. You don't have to push it. The way you maintain it is by observing. Just watch it. Just watch it unfold like a movie.

When you watch a movie, you don't really get caught up in it in the way of trying to change scenes or trying to change characters. You have what's presented to you and you enjoy it. In the same way, when you have the loving kindness for any of the Brahma Viharas, you enjoy being in that. You allow the mind to bask in it for as long as you can. You don't push, trying to be there for as long as you can. You just allow yourself to enjoy being with it. And then at a certain point, you might get distracted again. And what you do is you repeat the six R's process. So essentially, what you're doing is you're not pushing or suppressing the hindrances.

You're not trying to bring them down. You're not trying to force them down. You are actually coming face to face with them so you know how your mind works. You understand what are the attachments that you need to let go of. You understand what are the things that you might be afraid of. The things that you are preventing yourself from facing.

And instead of fighting them, you let go of them, and why you let go of them is because as soon as you let go of them, you feel this relief. And that relief really is the mundane version of nibbana. When you relax that craving, you find this relief, and that relief you can sense when the mind is spacious, when there is a sense of serenity in the mind. There are no thoughts. And if there are very few wisps of thoughts, that really is the mundane experience of nirvana. It's the preview, the trailer for nirvana, if you will.

So when you let go, you're actually weakening that hindrance. If you suppress it, it will fight back. It will push harder. It's like that metaphor of taking a beach ball and pushing it down under the water, and then when you do that, the force of that push actually repels, and the beach ball rises up and jumps out of the water. In the same way, if you're going to suppress, force down, fight down the hindrances, when you come out of your practice you're going to find them still there, probably with greater force.

So instead of doing that, you allow the mind to come face to face with that hindrance, and you relax, you release, you relax, and you let go. And the more you let go, the more you weaken the hindrance. It might arise again, but it won't be there for long. It might come back again. It might return a few times.

But every time it comes back to you, it comes in a weaker form. It doesn't have much power over you anymore or power over your mind anymore. So the letting go of it is actually reconditioning your mind to not be bothered by it anymore, not to not take it personally, to let go of it. And then eventually that hindrance will dissipate, and it may not arise anymore, at least for that meditation. It might arise again in another meditation, but the whole process is to continually do the six R's when required, to recondition the mind, to recondition your own actions also in daily living, in daily life, because it allows you to be more aware of the present and allows you to make choices that are wholesome. It allows you to be more present, if you will, within those moments.

So that instead of coming from an unwholesome mindset, you're able to make choices that are rooted in a wholesome mindset. And every time you do that, you are reconditioning the mind. So there's a feedback loop between the meditation and your daily living. Be in wholesome states of mind throughout the day, and the easier it's going to be for your meditation practice.

The longer you're able to sit with an undistracted mind, the easier it's going to be for your daily living to act from a wholesome standpoint, from a wholesome quality of mind. So this is how I see the six R's and their intertwining with the four right efforts. Thank you. Taking what is not given, so essentially that can be stealing, that could be physical possessions, that can be money, but that can also be attention, as I mentioned in last week's talk.

That can be the need for attention, or the need to be right, or the need to be heard. But yes, also the unfulfilling or not fulfilling of responsibilities is also stealing away time from people, stealing away the valuable opportunities that they're giving you, and then squandering it in some ways, in a sense. That's a very good point that you made, and you were able to see that if you are doing a job, if you are at work and you're not actually working and you're taking money, what are you actually doing? So yes, and it is definitely connected to that. It's connected in a way that is taking what is not given, meaning the money was given to you for you to perform your job. So that part was fulfilled, but there is an understanding that you also need to fulfill your part of the job by knowing the physical sensations in your head. What I mean by that is if you're pushing too hard, when you start to feel a heaviness

in your head, when you start to feel some kind of tension in your head, if you're feeling heaviness or feeling tension in the head, you're trying way too hard. Another symptom of trying too hard is that you're going to produce restlessness as well, and that comes in the form of too many thoughts. So you need to let go of trying to push if that happens. And on the flip side of that, if you are not with your object, when the mind starts to slack, when you start to have torpor, that's usually a very dull sensation that might arise. For some people it's a little more difficult to recognize it, because the mind sort of slips into this kind of slumber, and it's kind of difficult to generate the mindfulness.

But as soon as you recognize it, as soon as you recognize that there was that slackness, you have actually made some progress, because now you can generate some energy, you can generate some joy, and you can generate some investigation, which means you're able to be aware of what the mind requires in that moment, whether it's a little more joy or a little more energy. It's not a matter of trying to push upon the mind for that joy. It's just a matter of having a little bit of joy now. Then you start to balance, and you start to step away from, and come more to, a balanced state of mind. So essentially, reviewing it: if you are trying too hard, you're going to find there's a lot of tension in the mind and a lot of tension in the head. So when you find that, you relax it, you let go of it, you do the six R's process, and then come back to just observing it. It's better to start off with the standpoint of observing it rather than trying to push it from the get-go.

So when you start your practice, just relax the mind, relax the body. Take a deep breath if you want. Just come into understanding where your body is at the moment, understanding the four foundations of mindfulness, as it were. So understanding what kind of sensations might be arising, what your mind is at this point in time, and what the contents of that mind are. Once you have that, you can just know if your mind is agitated at the moment, or if it's slacking off. And accordingly you'll know, okay, well, if it's agitated, I'm going to just start with observing whatever your object of meditation is. I'm going to just start observing and watching, just let it be and see what's going on. On the flip side, once you've begun the practice, once you've begun the meditation session, and you see and you notice that the contents of your mind, or the mind itself, is more dull, is slacking off, then you know that you need to bring a little energy from the get-go.

And then once you fire up, so to speak, that loving-kindness or whatever the brahmavihara is, you can back off a little bit and just observe from there. Any time you find yourself thinking, or any time you find yourself having thoughts other than those that are related to the object, you have to basically recognize. It's not necessary to note whether it was a thought or a memory or whatever the content is. It's not necessary. It's more necessary to recognize that you were distracted. And once you're distracted, once you realize you're distracted, you take away your attention from it, and then you relax that tension, and then you come back to the smile, and then come back to the. And while you're radiating in the six directions, one thing you should be certain of is you allow it to flow out from you.

You don't need to, once again, you don't need to push it. If you push it, it's going to create some tension in the mind, but also it's going to create thoughts. It's going to create a little too much energy in the mind. And because of that too much energy, it might create restless thoughts. So it's also good to be aware that you are just very subtly observing and just subtly intending the radiation of the compassion or metta, whatever it might be, in the six directions. It's just a subtle intention, it's not really pushing it, so that's what you should be more mindful of. But in terms of the thoughts that arise in and of themselves, they should be successful. Okay, thank you. Um, I would suggest watching a comedy show, something that makes you feel good, and once you start to feel good, you know what that feeling is like. So if you have an opportunity, sit down and stay with that feeling, that feeling from watching a good comedy show or whatever it is that you might be enjoying. Another good practice is gratitude.

Spend five minutes, ten minutes if you can, just listing out the things that you're grateful for in your life, and you'll start to just naturally smile, because you find that you're so blessed with the things that you have, the people in the relationships that you have in this life. That will start to create that warmth in the chest area, that feeling that you're looking for. So when you find it, sit down and stay with that and see if that continues, if you can sustain it.

Another thing is you definitely don't want to necessarily... I mean, you really don't want to mix up the practices. You want to keep them separate. Like if you're going to do the metta practice, you allow the breath to be quite natural. And even when you're doing, let's say, if you choose to do the anapanasati, you're actually allowing the breath to be natural there too. The way the practice has been traditionally outside of the suttas has been where you focus on, you know, the end of the nostril or you focus in on how long the breath is and things like that.

But from what I understand, from peripheral talks and discussions, it's more of allowing the breath to be natural and then relaxing in the in-breath and relaxing in the out-breath. I may be mistaken, because I'm doing essentially the brahmaviharas, or I've started with the brahmaviharas with this practice. But when you find yourself starting to, let's say, focus on the breath while you're trying to bring up the metta, consider that to be a distraction, and then 6R's, and then come back to that. You need to bring up, let's say, a memory that might make you feel good. If you find that there are memories that are not necessarily rooted in wholesome qualities, or are rooted in a craving mindset, it's best to just let those memories be, and it's better to bring up an image that makes you feel good. For example, that's often used: the image of a puppy, or the image of holding a baby in your arms, that always brings quite a smile on a lot of people's faces. The other thing you can do is find other things that you find enjoyable

and that are wholesome. That could be as simple as going to the park, or being around nature, or playing the piano, really any activity that also allows you to be in a wholesome state of mind. And then from that, you sit down, if you have a chance to, and the feeling that arises from it, you allow it to be there and observe it. So essentially it's not necessary that it needs to come from a memory. It's better that it's something that's related to you. For in your case, let's say if you're not able to find memories that are necessarily fully wholesome, it's better to bring up some kind of an image that you find to be wholesome, and you find, well, that is wholesome generally, but also that you find to be enjoyable to you, that naturally brings you a smile on the face, that naturally brings that warmth to your heart.

First, I would say that you have to understand that the only thing that's perceivable that you may have is of the moment-to-moment choices that are presented to you, and more than that, your responses to those choices. So the more you're able to be in a wholesome state from your practice, the more mindful you'll become of the choices that you're making in every given moment. So it's not necessary to change people. And it's not necessary, for example, to have people change what they think about you or what they think about the practice.

What people think about you, for example, is none of your business. It's more about how you perceive the world around you. So it's a matter of understanding that you are more in control of the present moment through the choices that you're making. So if someone, for example, may behave negatively towards you, or they may use harmful words, hurtful words, hurtful speech, understand that that's coming from them and that they are responsible for that. It has nothing to do with you.

So with that kind of an understanding, if you're able to take a pause from reacting reflexively, if you can pause for about four or five seconds, even longer if possible, 10 seconds, you allow the mind the ability to actually wait and respond from an attitude of loving-kindness or an attitude of compassion. Work life, or the lay life as you say, and meditation practice, think about it this way: it's very easy nowadays for people, or generally speaking, to be in an angry mood or to be in an upset mood throughout the day. They're not able to let it go. Why not come to that point where you're in a happy mood throughout the day?

And that happens by continuing the meditation off the mat. In other words, once you have cultivated the loving-kindness in the sitting meditation, it just doesn't end there. You can bring it out after you sit and continue on with your day while cultivating that loving-kindness. So instead of being the kind of person who might be in an upset mood, it might be a sad mood or an angry mood, be the kind of person who can be in a happy mood. And the more of a happy mood you are in, the more you're able to bring other people into a happier mood, because it clarifies your mind. It gives clarity to the mind. You're able to understand people emotionally. You're able to understand what is required of the situation, to respond in a way that is beneficial to the person, to yourself, and to the situation that is presenting itself.

So it's not a matter of just essentially looking at it from the angle of balancing lay life and meditation. It's more of actually bringing out the meditation into your daily life. And when you do that, you're able to function through the Eightfold Path, as you just mentioned. Because the more you choose to be in a loving-kindness attitude, the more you choose to be in a compassionate attitude, you're cultivating what is the right intention within the Eightfold Path. And by doing so, you're also able to let go of any unwholesome states that might arise.

And so your speech. You'll be more effective in the way you speak with others. You'll be more wholesome in your speech. You'll be more mindful of when to speak and when not to speak, what to say and what not to say. And also you'll be aware of how to act in every given situation. So really, the Eightfold Path starts with the practice, but the practice also ends with cultivating the Eightfold Path. It's another cycle within a cycle, so to speak. So it's not dividing the two or trying to bring them together. It's more of practicing it in a way that is holistic, that allows you to actually continue, if you want, the lay life, but really make it more enjoyable for yourself and make it more enjoyable for others around you as well.

Thanks. We're more responsible in how we respond, and we can respond naturally from a loving and kind attitude. We don't need to respond to how they expect us to respond. Now, the thing is, if you say that while you're at work somebody is upset and they expect you to respond a certain way, that will stop them from being upset.

You can do that so long as it's wholesome. So you have to be mindful of that and understand that if this is going to diffuse the situation for that person, then do so as long as it's coming from a wholesome standpoint. That means that you are bringing the meditation into your practice, or bringing the meditation practice into your daily life.

That means that, for example, if somebody gets upset and expects you to do something, and they're expecting you to do something that is going to help them become calm, as long as whatever that thing is is wholesome, do so. And if you have a choice but to do an unwholesome thing, I would say find a different way to do it that is more wholesome. It's better to let people calm themselves through your actions. If they're expecting things from you that create unwholesome reactions from them, you are not responsible for that. So what you are responsible for is your own reactions to. And if you continue to be responsive, if you continue to be loving and kind or compassionate, you will have the ability in that situation to know what works best for that situation. Because a mind that is inclined towards wholesome states, a mind that is inclined to being compassionate, will find ways to do things that can be in correspondence with compassion. They can be in correspondence with being loving and kind.