Day 10 Sigalovada Sutta -Advice to Lay People with Delson Armstrong

So now it's time to go back to the ordinary life as a lay person, talking about the advice to lay people. This is Digha Nikaya 31. It's called Sigalaka Sutta, to Sigalaka. Advice to lay people. Also called Sigalovada Sutta, which is also known as the lay person's vinaya. Interesting. Thus have I heard: once the Blessed One was staying at Rajagaha, at the squirrel's feeding place in the bamboo grove. And at that time Sigalaka, the householder's son, having got up early and gone out of Rajagaha, was paying homage with wet clothes and hair, and with joined palms, to the different directions. And the Blessed One, having risen early and dressed, took his robe and bowl, and went to Rajagaha for alms.

And seeing Sigalaka paying homage to the different directions, he said, Householder's son, why have you got up so early to pay homage to the different directions? Lord, my father, when he was dying, told me to do so. And so, out of respect for my father's words, which I revere, honor, and hold sacred, I have got up thus early to pay homage in this way to the six directions.

But, householder's son, that is not the right way to pay homage to the six directions according to the noble discipline. It would be good if the Blessed One were to teach me the proper way to pay homage to the six directions according to the noble discipline. Then listen carefully, pay attention, and I will speak. Yes, Venerable Sir, said Sigalaka. And the Blessed One said, Young householder, it is by abandoning the four defilements of action, by not doing evil from the four causes, by not following the six ways of wasting one's substance, through avoiding these 14 evil ways, that the noble disciple covers the six directions, and by such practice becomes a conqueror of both worlds.

When you say a conqueror of both worlds, that is this world here, the five sense bases, and the world in the mind, will go well with him in this world and the next. And so that is the next rebirth. And at the breaking up of the body after death, he will go to a good destination, a heavenly realm.

What are the four defilements of action that are abandoned? Taking life is one. Taking what is not given is one. Misconduct is one. Lying speech is one. These are the four defilements of action that he abandons. So, these are the precepts, right? To break the precepts, you defile the mind. When you break the precepts, you defile the mind. So, the first instruction for you guys when you go back is to keep your precepts.

Make a commitment every morning, before your meditation, to take the three refuges and take the five precepts. And then when you're ready, go and sit. You will see the energy of keeping the precepts throughout the day, especially during your sitting practice. This is essential for you to be able to progress in your practice in the lay life.

And the Tathagata, having spoken, he added: So these are desire, hatred, fear, and folly. I'll explain. So when we talk about desire, that is craving, sensual craving. Hatred is aversion. Folly can mean two things: sloth and torpor, and not paying attention, lack of mindfulness, not having proper attention. It's also known as heedlessness, not paying heed to what's going on.

This is known in Pali as pamada, not paying attention. And fear. Fear here can mean restlessness and anxiety. And so he speaks in verse, he says, at waxing time. So how do you let go of desire and hatred, fear and folly? 6R's. But it's not just the 6R's in the sitting practice. It's not just the 6R's during the walking meditation.

It's the 6R's whenever you notice an unwholesome state of mind coming up. Whether you are driving or cooking, or washing the dishes, or watching television, or reading, or interacting with anybody, notice the quality of your mind. Notice what states of mind are present. And all that requires is mindfulness: the ability to observe how your mind's attention moves from one thing to the other, to your mind in everything you do. And all that requires is to slow things down.

When you go back into the world, tomorrow some of you will be going by train, some of you will be going by plane. You'll be going to the airport, and the airport's going to be busy with hundreds and hundreds of people. There is going to be noise and the sounds of traffic. You have to get to your destination. You have to get to the counter to check in. Then you have to get into the security line. Then you have to get to the gate. Then you have to get on the plane. Then you have to get to your destination. In all of that, where is your mind? Is your mind befuddled? Is your mind anxious? Is your mind scattered helter-skelter because of all of the ambient noise of the airport and the activity that's going on? Or do you take things slowly, step by step? Everything is done in a way that is mindful, in a way that is attentive. The irony is, when you do things in this way, you get things done faster.

But if you become anxious, if you become restless, if you go here and there and your mind goes in different directions, it's going to take you more time to do the things that you have to do. As simple as checking in at the counter, as simple as walking into the security line, and so on.

So notice how your mind is all throughout your trip to the airport, and then at the airport, and to the plane. And then keep that going. Keep that mindfulness going. Keep the ability to remain aware and attentive of what's going on. And more importantly, practice the brahmaviharas. At the counter, if you're in line, radiate the brahmaviharas. Radiate loving kindness. Offer your smile to the person at the counter. Offer your smile to the TSA. Offer your smile to the person who is helping you on the airplane. Keep that loving kindness going. It will do wonders. Trust me.

It will do some wonderful things. One. Attending fairs is one. Being addicted to gambling is one. Keeping bad company is one. Habitual idleness is one. Which means you don't go to Las Vegas. Well, there you go. Right? You think about Las Vegas: you have drink, you have fairs, you have celebrations, you have all kinds of things. Like going to events, going to the circus and shows and things like that.

Habitual idleness. Just loitering around, not doing anything. Got nothing better to do. But what this is talking about is, first and foremost, addiction to strong drink and sloth-producing drugs is one way of wasting one's substance. That's breaking the fifth precept, right? Becoming, indulging in intoxicants. So that is out of the question completely. Haunting the streets at unfitting times is one.

Basically that means going out for parties, right? Going out at, let's say, ungodly hours. 2am or 3am. Yeah. I think most of us are well past that, right? So that's one thing. The other is attending fairs. So what the Buddha is saying is, when we talk about attending fairs, that's like a person who's addicted to going out all the time, right? New show, having to go to see, oh, this band is in town, we better go, or this band is on tour, let's follow them. That's just, what is that doing, actually? What is that doing?

When he says wasting away one's substance, it means you're wasting away a few things. Your mental energy, and, to an extent, your money. Because your money is energy that you've put in to earn that money. If you're just going to while away that money, what's the point? You're going to waste away all that energy, and it goes in vain. And then also, the things that you do, overindulging in these things, result in a dull mind, because you're assaulting the senses all the time. And this is happening all the time anyway in the world. We have so many different shows on so many different streaming platforms, so many choices. And we're always addicted to the next new show.

Have you seen that show? Have you checked out this show? And we binge-watch all of that. Or we're going from one party to the other. Just doing all those things is just a waste of time. Waste of time, waste of energy, and waste of money. But you don't know that when you're much younger. For you, when you're young, it's all about, generally speaking, having a good time.

Because you have energy. You have immense energy. You have overactive energy. And you're looking for an outlet for that energy. But all of you are wiser and older, and so you know how to relegate your time in a way that is efficient. You know how to spend your time in a way that is leading to less suffering, because in the end, doing these things, assaulting the senses with all of these things, causes the mind to become dull. And that is not good for meditation. That's not good for anything. That which dulls the mind dulls the mindfulness, and dulls the attention. And it's impossible for you to be attentive, doing meditation, or doing anything at all.

Being addicted to gambling is one, right? Keeping bad company is one. Habitual idleness is one. Addicted to gambling. Gambling is also, can be, a waste of money. What's the point of doing it? Keeping bad company. This is a big one, right? Knowing who you spend your time with. Who are your friends? Who are the people that are either supportive of you or not supportive of you? People who, and this is essentially for a young householder, remember.

So people who try to make you do foolish things. Like, I bet you can't jump off that bridge. Those kinds of things. Or, you should try this new drug that's there, or whatever it is. Bad company. But there's also people who drain energy from you.

Right? They're just people who like to complain about life. They're just people who want somebody to be a sounding board. And you can't do that all the time. You can't be that all the time. Be mindful of the energy that you spend. Be mindful of the time you spend with people. So if you can find people who are supportive of you, supportive of the practice that you're doing, or at the very least don't bother you because of your practice, that's the kind of company to keep. It's good to once in a while just hang out with friends, do whatever it is that you're doing as long as you're not breaking precepts. It's fine. It's another way of being social in lay life.

Now as lay people, you guys do that. You go out and you spend time with people and you make jokes, you have fun, you watch movies, laugh and all of that. But everything has its time. Everything has its place. And the people that you enjoy that time with better be worth your time. Better be people who inspire you, who motivate you, who you naturally feel you can be relaxed with. Never feel pressured by, never feel stressed out by.

There are these six dangers attached to addiction to strong drink and sloth-producing drugs. Present waste of money, increased quarreling, liability to sickness, loss of good name, indecent exposure of one's person, and weakening of the intellect. There are these six dangers attached to haunting the streets at unfitting times. One is defenseless and without protection, and so are one's family, and so is one's property. One is suspected of crimes, and false reports are pinned on one, and one encounters all sorts of unpleasantness. In today's reality, depends on where you live, but if you're in a place like New York City or Mumbai or Delhi or something like that, those are cities that never sleep.

So you're hanging out and you always have a tea stall in Mumbai that's open at 3 a.m. But still, hanging around at those times doesn't make sense at all. It's just a waste of energy, right? So the theme here is to be cautious of how you spend your energy. Because it's the energy that you will require for a proper sitting practice.

So the danger is attached. One is defenseless and without protection. That can happen. It's possible that you can get mocked. Or something else can happen. One's family could be in danger. Or one's property. One could be suspected of crimes. That is a very extreme thing. But these are some of the dangers that could happen. There are these six dangers attached to frequenting fairs. One is always thinking, where is their dancing? Where is their singing? Where are they playing music? Where are they reciting? Where is their hand clapping? Where are the drums? That's right. That's me. But that used to be everybody in their youth at some point in time, right? Where's the next gig? Where are we going?

Bar crawling, pub crawling, and all of that. Have you heard of this new show that's coming out this Friday? Let's go check it out. This is what happened with Sariputta and Moggallana. Sariputta and Moggallana were best friends, who lived in the same village, and they found out that the circus was in town, or fair was in town, and there was this great event. And they went there the first night, and they were like, oh, that's amazing, that's great, that's awesome, let's go here every night. And they did it, and they saw the same show the next day, the same show the day after, the same show week after week for that whole month. By the end of it, they were like disenchanted with it.

And they were like, is this all there is to life, just wasting away your time in this way? And so that motivated them to find a way out of suffering. They realized that pleasant feelings, pleasant experiences were temporary, were fickle, are fleeting. They don't last. The repetition of those same pleasant feelings isn't the same as it was the first time. It's like a drug. You get addicted to pleasant feelings. But you need more and more in order to experience that high. It's that dopamine rush the mind is always looking for.

So what you guys have been doing here in the last 10 days is basically a dopamine detox. We've taken your phones away from you. You don't have access to internet. No screen time. Meditating, eating, not even talking. That, well, kind of, you're right. I've seen some of you chatting here and there. But for the most part, what you're doing is you're resetting your mind. You stop getting addicted to, I have to check my phone every couple of minutes.

Or I have to do, I have to check my email, right? It's the same thing with attending fairs, frequenting fairs. There are these six dangers attached to gambling. The winner makes enemies. The loser bewails his loss. One wastes one's present wealth. One's word is not trusted in the assembly. One is despised by one's friends and companions. For those of you out there, one is not in demand for marriage. Yeah, well, there you go.

That's what I'm saying. Because a gambler cannot afford to maintain a life. So gambling, you know, don't do it. There are these six dangers attached to keeping bad company. So he talks about the different kinds of bad company. Any gambler, any glutton, any drunkard, any cheat, any trickster, any bully is his friend, his companion. So these are all guys or people who break precepts, right? A gambler, addicted to gambling. Glutton, addicted to food. Drunkard, addicted to strong drink. Trickster, lies, breaks precepts. And bully, harms others through their words and actions.

There are these six dangers attached to idleness. Here's what idleness means. Thinking it's too cold, one does not work. Thinking it's too hot, one does not work. Thinking it's too early, one does not work. Thinking it's too late, one does not work. Thinking, I'm too hungry, one does not work. Thinking, I'm too full, one does not work. Basically, procrastinating. Making excuses for getting work done.

That could mean meditation, but that could also just mean your job. Whatever it is that you have to do. I'll get to it when I get to it. There's some amazing master procrastinators. They justify all kinds of things. Stinginess, that's a big one. Stinginess is one of the upakilesas of the mind. 16 upakilesas. But stinginess, which comes from the word macchariya, it means somebody who is tight with their purse, basically. They do share, but they share just a little bit because they're like, yeah, I'm only going to give you that much. They don't have that generous heart. They don't have that generous mindset that's like, yeah, if this person is in need and if I'm capable of helping them and I have the means to do it and I won't be in trouble by doing it, I will help that person as best as I can.

One plays with dice and drinks strong drink and goes with others' well-loved wives. He takes the lower baser course and fades away like waning moon. The drunkard, broken, destitute, ever thirsting as he drinks, like stone and water sinks in debt, soon bereft of all his kin. He who spends his days in sleep and makes the night his waking time, ever drunk and lecherous, cannot keep a decent home. Too cold, too hot, too late they cry, thus pushing all their work aside, till every chance they might have had of doing good has slipped away. Equanimity.

Earlier we were talking about the eight vicissitudes. There is pleasure and pain. Loss or wealth and poverty. There is blame or honor and blame or praise and blame. What was the last one? Do you remember? Yeah, pain and pleasure. So pain and pleasure, fame and blame, wealth and poverty, and I think it's disrepute and fame. Okay.

Fame and disrepute. Okay. So the eight vicissitudes of life. If you can have total equanimity in any of these challenges, and that happens through keeping your precepts, maintaining mindfulness, continuing to meditate and develop equanimity. Meaning you remain unaffected by what's going on. You see things as they are. You don't get affected. You don't grab at things. So one of the words for equanimity in Pali is upekkha. That's the word that we use, upekkha, which is also from the Sanskrit upeksha.

And the opposite of upeksha is apeksha. Apeksha means expectation. Expectation is another word for craving. Expecting something. Expecting this is what will happen. Or expecting, I want this to happen. So getting caught up in that. Seeking fame. Seeking opportunity. Honor, seeking wealth, seeking all of these things without realizing that they have a duality. If you have praise, you'll also have criticism.

If you have fame, you'll also have ill repute. If you have wealth, that might go away one day and you'll be in poverty. You have pleasure one time, you have pain another time. But that's just the way existence is. The arising and passing away of things. The arising and passing away of different phenomena. But how do you choose to take that?

Do you identify with that? Do you identify with the five aggregates? And cause suffering by attaching to that. Or do you let the mind be in equanimity? Okay, great. That person praised me for whatever it is that I did. Don't let it get to your head. Don't make it a big deal, as Bhante would say. Right? All of these things.

Keep developing your equanimity throughout the day. This is very important. Householder son, there are these four types who can be seen as foes in friendly guise. It's a good way to find out who are your friends, who are truly your friends and who are not your friends. The one who is all take is one. The great talker is one. The flatterer is one. And the fellow spendthrift is one.

Spendthrift? Somebody who likes to spend money. You go with friends, you shop. Shopping therapy, as they call it. Retail therapy, as they call it. Which can be effective. So the one who is all take. What does that mean? The one who is all take. Never offering a helping hand. Always looking to, what can I get from this person? And when you need help from them, oh, my car broke down, and my house was on fire, and somebody kidnapped my kids. The great talker and the flatterer.

People use very sweet words, but what is the intention behind it? Don't get carried away by sweet words. See the intention behind it. It doesn't mean you become distrustful of a person. But understand that somebody who just keeps flattering you has some motive in mind. Somebody who offers genuine compliments because of something you did or something that you've achieved or maybe it's something you're wearing. That's all fine. It's no big deal. But a flatterer, somebody who's always speaking sweet words to get something from you or to hide something from you.

And the fellow spendthrift. Be careful of those people who are like, let's go out to eat. And after you go out to eat, let's go shopping here. Let's go do this there. Let's do that. Let's do this. And what happens? It's all on your credit card. So be careful of all that. The man who is all take can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons.

He takes everything. He wants a lot for very little. What he must do, he does out of fear and he seeks his own ends. Pretty self-explanatory. The great talker can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He talks of favors in the past, right? Somebody who says, I did this for you, back in the day, 50 years ago, remember?

And in the future, he mouths empty phrases. Yeah, I'll take care of that tomorrow. I'll make sure you're taken care of 50 years from now, right? And when something needs to be done in the present, he pleads inability owing to some disaster. I already said this. I already talked about this. It's always something with that person, right?

The flatterer can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He assents to bad actions. He dissents from good actions. You to your face and he disparages you behind your back. You wouldn't know this, but you can get a sense of such friends, such people in your life. You don't need that kind of energy in your life.

Just let that be. Let that go. It doesn't mean you have to confront these people. Just stop it. Just stop interacting with them. That's it. Been situations where somebody promised something to you and said, yeah, this is going to happen, and they don't fulfill that promise. Okay, you know that they cannot necessarily be trusted. But you give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe something went wrong, you trust them one more time. You can have the policy of three strikes and you're out. That's a pretty generous policy. I'm a little less generous in that case. One strike and you're out.

If somebody proves to be somebody who's not trustful, somebody who is not what they seem, I just drop it. It doesn't mean you have any ill will against them. It doesn't mean you have any aversion towards them. You just avoid spending time with them. That's all. You don't have to message them. You don't have to do anything.

And when they see that their words and their actions are not getting to you and they can't get anything from you, they'll move on to the next victim. That's all you have to do. You don't have to confront them. Just nothing. No response. And the Tathagata, having spoken, added, These four are really foes, not friends. The wise man recognizing this should hold himself aloof from them as from some path of panic fear.

Householder son, there are these four types who can be seen to be loyal. Now these are people who are loyal friends. The friend who is a helper is one. The friend who is the same in happy and unhappy times is one. The friend who points out what is good for you is one. And the friend who is sympathetic is one.

The helpful friend can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He looks after you when you are inattentive. He looks after your possessions when you are inattentive. He is a refuge when you are afraid. And when some business is to be done, he lets you have twice what you ask for. That's a very rare friend. Impossible to have nowadays. Right? Especially the last part.

He keeps you from wrongdoing. He supports you in doing good. He informs you of what you did not know. And he points out the path to heaven. The reason why he's saying this is because at the time lay people were interested in getting to a better destination. Not Nibbana. Generally. Let's go back to that again, because this is very important. You have to find out someone who can point out what is good for you. Somebody who is your Kalyana Mitta. Somebody who looks out for you. And this is somebody who keeps you from wrongdoing.

So they can point out, I think what you're doing might be taking you down a wrong path. Pay attention to that, friend. Understand why they're saying what they're saying. Figure out, okay, what is it that I'm doing that is wrong? We support you in doing good. Find a Sangha that you can be with, to meditate with. Those are your Kalyana Mittas. We have so many different online groups that are friends together, supporting one another with meditation advice, supporting one another with Sutta recommendations, coming together once a week or once a month, discussing the sutras, discussing meditation.

He informs you of what you did not know. So they keep you informed of what's going on. They let you know, did you pay attention to that? Did you pay attention to this? And he points out the path to heaven. That means they motivate you towards keeping your precepts, and they say, I don't think you should be doing that. Somebody's tempted to have a drink and your loyal friend says, I don't think you should be doing that.

If you start to indulge in gossip, they'll say, I don't think we should be talking about this. So they're very much there to help you to keep your precepts. The sympathetic friend can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. Again, a rare friend. The wise man, trained and disciplined, shines out like a beacon fire. He gathers wealth just as the bee gathers honey, and it grows like an anthill higher yet. With wealth so gained, the layman can devote it to his people's good.

So this is important to understand also. How do you build wealth? How do you build your resources? Because at the end of the day, as lay people, you have to support yourselves, right? You have to be able to have the resources to support your livelihood. How do you do that? Is it by getting a good degree? Getting a good education? Getting a good degree? Is it by getting into a good university? to work for. What is it?

At the end of the day, it is about relationships. Genuine relationships. You can call it networking, but networking is one thing. It's more like building long-lasting relationships with people. Being loyal to them. And when you do that, people will remember you. And they will want to help you. They will want to share their wealth with you. They will want to share their resources with you.

I've had this experience many times where I have been loyal to all of my friends to the end. And I've maintained those relationships. And those friends will always remember me. If I need anything, I just have to call them. Sometimes I don't even have to call them. I just reach out to them mentally and they'll call me.

But in the times where I was working or in a business or doing the things that I was doing in California, not talking bad about others, keeping good relationships was the way by which I progressed in my career. Because people remember you. Oh, that's the guy who's really nice. He's fun to hang out with. He's a nice person. Let's see if he's available for this work.

I have a lot of friends who I've developed these relationships with over the years. And they've given me so much in terms of not only their friendship, which is very important. It's the fundamental business. They have given me all kinds of things. All kinds of resources. They've offered me all kinds of shares in their companies and this and that. Just because they thought about me.

Because I was a good friend and vice versa. So the way to build wealth, the way to build resources is to have genuine friendship, genuine relationships. That's the way to do it. The moment you have that scarcity mindset of how can I get something from this person, you give off these vibes that a person can read and they definitely will not want to work with you.

But if you are genuine, you have loving kindness for them, you have compassion for them, you are empathetically joyful for their successes, they will remember you. He should divide his wealth in four. This will most advantage bring. One part he may enjoy at will. Two parts he should put to work. The fourth part he should set aside as reserve in times of need.

So this is the Buddha giving you guys financial advice. How do you deal with your money? Now, that depends on you guys, right? How you have ratios. But just because you make money doesn't mean you spend all of it in one place. You don't spend all of it on your livelihood. You don't spend all of it on your living expenses. You portion out a little bit for savings. You portion a little bit out for investments. You portion a little bit out for getting that new Ferrari, or whatever it is that you've been wanting, right?

And some of it, it could be up to half of it, is used towards whatever is required for your existence. But you can follow this ratio, 50-25-25, or whatever ratio works for you. There's a great book called The Richest Man in Babylon. And in that book, one of the first rules is pay yourself first. Money that you get, put it towards a savings account, put it towards some kind of investment, whatever it is that you think is useful.

And then whatever money is remaining, then you use it for your livelihood. Now what percentage that is? That can be 5%, 10%, 20%, 25%, whatever is comfortable for you. But be smart with your money. That's what the Buddha is saying. Don't waste your money. Understand what money is. It is a representation of the energy that you've expended. And when you do give money, when you do spend money, when you pay the bills, when you do offer money as Dana, understand what that money represents. You are saying that the energy and effort I've taken to earn this money, I am giving that to you as gratitude. I'm giving that to you because I want you to be happy.

See that as a way of transferring your joy and giving that joy to the other. And how, householder's son, does a noble disciple protect the six directions? These six things are to be regarded as the six directions. The east denotes one's parents. The west denotes one's family, your spouse, your partner, your children. The north denotes friends and companions. The nadir denotes servants, workers, and helpers. The zenith denotes ascetics and brahmins.

There are five ways in which a child should minister to their mother and father. They should think, having been supported by them, I will support them. How often do you think about that for your parents? When your parents are in need, are you there for them? Because they have been there for you always, or hopefully always. They should think thus, I will perform their duties for you. This is so important.

When a parent passes away, you can go and give alms to the Sangha and dedicate that merit to them so that they have a better destination. And there are five ways in which the parents so ministered to by their child as the Eastern direction will reciprocate. So parents also have a duty to their children. They will restrain them from evil, support them in doing good, teach them some skill, find them a suitable partner, the inheritance to them. In this way, the Eastern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

You see, when Buddha talks about these six directions, he's also giving advice for how society could be able to function at the most optimal. Now, some of these things might seem antiquated. Some of these things might seem outdated. So you take what works for you in your context of how your society is. But this generally is how it works in the East, in India. There is this devotedness to one's parents, right? The idea is that because our parents have taken care of us when we were young, when they grow old, we will support them. We will take care of them as best as we can.

And especially in India and probably the rest of the East, the parents are always looking to make sure that their kids have the best education. They will do all kinds of sacrifices. This is probably all around the world, obviously. But then more specifically, parents are always looking to make sure that they find a good partner for their kids. Very India, right? Very, very much so. Or that their kids have a good householder's life. That's really it. So the concept of arranged marriages in India has changed a little bit. Before it was very different. It was like sometimes you didn't even know who the person you were getting married to. You never even met them until the day of the marriage.

But now it's different. Making services and all of these things and parents do their research. You should see Indian parents when they do their research. I know. I know how that is. My mother. Right? But the whole intention behind that is they want their kids to be happy. They want to make sure that the partner that their kids have be supportive, somebody that will be good to them and vice versa, somebody who is compatible in all ways.

In today's modern version of the Indian arranged marriages, what they do is they'll have a whole sort of retinue of different resumes of different so-called partners, potential partners, and they look at it and be like, okay, these are the ones that maybe we should look at. And then there'll be the two kids will meet and their families will be with them. And then they'll say, are you interested? Yeah, I'm interested. Are you interested? Yes, I'm interested. And they start going out on coffee dates and they start hanging out with each other little by little. So the relationship is developed. And if they find that they are compatible, then they tell their parents and then voila, we have a marriage.

There are five ways in which pupils should minister to their teachers as the southern direction. By rising to greet them, standing up when they're there. By waiting on them, by being attentive, by serving them, by mastering the skills that they teach. And there are five ways in which their teachers, thus ministered to by their pupils as the southern direction, will reciprocate, so teachers also have a duty.

They will give thorough instruction, make sure they have grasped what they should have duly grasped, give them a thorough grounding in all skills, and recommend them to their friends and colleagues, and provide them with security in all directions. is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. So again, this is an ancient Indian idea. At the time of the Buddha and even before them, they had what was known as gurukulums. That's where the word curriculum comes from. Gurukulums were basically places where kids would be going to school, sort of like a boarding school. And the main teacher over there was responsible for all of the students. Students were well fed, that they had beds to sleep in.

They were basically taking on the place of their parents. So that was their duty to them. Make sure that they got the proper instruction. Make sure that they got it. They understood the instruction. Make sure that they have the foundations and all the skills that are required for functioning in society. And recommending them to different places. So giving letters of recommendation. In modern terminology.

There are five ways in which a partner should minister. Let me say what it says here. Take it with a grain of salt. There are five ways in which a husband should minister to his wife as the Western direction. By honoring her, by not disparaging her, by not being unfaithful to her, by giving authority to her. And there are five ways in which a wife thus ministered to by her husband, as the Western direction, will reciprocate. By properly organizing the housework, by being kind to the servants, by not being unfaithful, by protecting food, and by being skillful and diligent in all she has to do. In this way, the Western direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

world now, right? But these roles can be taken on by anybody, man or woman, right? So here it says husband and wife, but it could be anyone. So there's a role that you have. There is the person who stays at home, makes sure that the house is taken care of, the kids are properly fed, everything is done with diligence. And there is that person who is the breadwinner and makes sure that the bills are paid and so on and so forth. a process here that's happening between two partners. Or if you're a throuple, that's a different thing. But there is some kind of understanding in a relationship of how to manage the household.

There are five ways in which a man should minister to his friends and companions as the northern direction. By gifts, by kindly words, by looking after their welfare, by treating them like himself, and by keeping his word. Pretty self-explanatory, right? How do you remain a good friend? These are the ways. And there are five ways in which friends and companions, thus ministered to by one as the northern direction, will reciprocate.

By looking after him when he is inattentive, by looking after his property when he is inattentive, by being a refuge when he is afraid, by not deserting him when he is in trouble, and by showing concern for his children. In this way, the northern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. There are five ways in which a master should minister to his servants and work people as the nadir. his employee.

By arranging their work according to their strengths. By giving them enough work that is according to their skill sets. By supplying them with food and wages. Making sure that they're properly paid. By looking after them when they are ill. So that could be healthcare. By sharing special delicacies with them. Bonuses? Offering bonuses, and by letting them off work at the right time.

And there are five ways in which these employees, thus ministered to by their employers as the nadir, will reciprocate. So this is interesting. They will get up before him, go to bed after him, take only what they are given, do their work properly, and be bearers of his praise and good repute. In this way, the nadir is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

There are five ways in which a man should minister to ascetics and Brahmins as the Zenith. When you talk about ascetics and Brahmins, these are different from teachers. These are like bhikkhus, these are like monks, wanderers, people coming for alms, and so on. By kindness in bodily deeds, speech, and thought. Right? Providing acts of kindness, words, thinking good for that person, by keeping open house for them, by supplying their bodily needs. And the ascetics and Brahmins thus minister to by him as the Zenith will reciprocate in six ways. So they have a duty to those people as well. They will restrain him from evil. So they will correct him if he's wrong. Encourage him to do good.

Show him the way. Be benevolently compassionate towards him. Teach him what he has not heard. Show him things that they have not heard before. Meditation techniques, things like that. And point out to him the way to heaven. Again, this is for a lay person. the West, friends and colleagues are the North, servants and workers are below, ascetics Brahmins are above. These directions all should be honored by a clansman true, he who is wise and disciplined, kindly and intelligent, humble, free from pride. Such a one may honor gain, early rising, scorning sloth, unshaken by adversity, of faultless conduct ready wit. Such a one may honor gain, making friends and keeping them, welcoming no stingy host, a guide, philosopher, and friend.

Such a one may honor gain, giving gifts and kindly speech, a life well spent for others' good, even-handed in all things, impartial as each case demands. These things make the world go around like the chariot's axle pin. If such things did not exist, So all of this is really talking about a person who follows this, somebody who offers comfort and care for those in need, who's generous to his friends, generous to his family, to their employees, to their colleagues, to teachers, to ascetics and Brahmins, that is to say those who are seeking alms. And so when this happens and everybody starts acting in this way, you have a society that is balanced, a society that isn't crumbling, a society that is healthy, not only in terms of physical health, of emotionally and mentally.

At these words, Sigalaka said to the Blessed One, "Excellent, Master Gautama, excellent. It is as if someone were to set up what had been knocked down, or to point out the way to one who had got lost, or to bring an oil lamp into a dark place so that those with eyes could see what was there. Just so, the Master Gautama has expounded the Dhamma in various ways. May the Master Gautama accept me as a lay follower from this day forth, as long as life shall last."

Some few parting words for you guys. It's important to understand a few things. If you take care of these three things, you will be okay. You'll be more than okay. Number one, keep your precepts. Do everything you can to keep your precepts. Number two, be generous. Generous not only with your money, but generous with time. Generous with your energy. Generous with your smile. Generous with your loving kindness. Generous with the Brahmaviharas. Generous with your patience. Generous with your forgiveness.

And number three, the 6R's. Right? Replace the unwholesome states with wholesome states of mind and keep cultivating them. This is how you take care of the Dhamma. That is your responsibility now, to take care of the Dhamma. And Bhante Vimalaramsi would always say, if you take care of the Dhamma, the Dhamma will take care of you. There are those here who have seen it for themselves, that when they take care of the Dhamma, the Dhamma takes care of you. Them so many different examples of that, where when you keep your precepts you are well protected, you don't get yourself in situations that can cause you harm one way or the other, or if you do find yourself in such situations, you can easily escape them without so much as a scratch. There are a few examples like that.

There's one example I know of that was from a friend of mine. They were telling me of this lady who got in the middle of a robbery. She was at a grocery store or one of these convenience stores, and she got herself in a hostage situation. There were her and another person. And she was afraid and everything, but she sent loving kindness to the people who were taking her hostage. And there was a car chase that happened.

The police were chasing the car that she was in, and the other person was in, with the bad guys. But somehow, for whatever reason, they didn't feel comfortable keeping her in the car. So they threw her out of the car. And they continued the chase. But guess what happened to the car? It crashed, and everybody in it died.

It's a very extreme example, obviously. So, go forth, live long and prosper. Okay. Shall we share some merit? One day I will remember how to do this. But it is not today. May suffering ones be suffering free, and the fear-struck, may the grieving shed all grief, and may all beings find relief. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. May beings inhabiting space and earth, devas and nagas of mighty power, share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu.