Day 10 2022 DN 31 Advice to Lay People - -How to live! -with Delson Armstrong

So today we're going to take it easy. We're going to talk about the lay life. And so now when you get off a retreat and get back into your daily practice, daily lives. What kind of life do you want to lead? So this is Digha Nikaya number 31, Sighalaka Sutta, to Sighalaka. And it's called The Advice to Lay People.

Thus have I heard. Once the Lord was staying at Rajagaha, at the squirrel's feeding place in the bamboo grove. And at that time, Sigalaka, the householder's son, having got up early and gone out of Rajagaha, was paying homage with wet clothes and hair and would join palms to the different directions, to the east, the south, the west, the north and the nadir and the zenith.

This was obviously because he had gone into the river and he had prayed, and now he was praising all of the different directions. Sigalaka responds: Lord, my father, when he was dying, told me to do so. And so, Lord, out of respect for my father's words, which I revere, honor, and hold sacred, I have got up thus early to pay homage in this way to the six directions.

But, householder son, that is not the right way to pay homage to the six directions, according to the Aryan discipline. The Aryan discipline means the noble disciple, the noble discipline, that is to say, according to the Dhamma. Well, Lord, how should one pay homage to the six directions according to the Aryan discipline? It would be good if the Blessed One were to teach me the proper way to pay homage to the six directions.

Then listen carefully, pay attention, and I will speak. Sir, said Sigalaka, and the Lord said: What are the four defilements of action that are abandoned? What do you guys think those are? Defilements of action. First four precepts. Taking life is one. Taking what is not given is one. Sexual misconduct is one. Lying speech is one. These are the four defilements of action that he abandons.

Thus the Blessed One spoke. And having spoken, he added: And stealing, lying, adultery, the wise reprove. What are the four causes of evil from which he refrains? So in other words, how do these evil actions, these unwholesome states of mind, how do they arise? From where do they arise? Rather, I would say, how do wholesome and unwholesome actions arise? Unwholesome. So, in the case of unwholesome actions, you require unwholesome intentions. And there are these four in particular.

It springs from ill will. It springs from folly. It springs from attachment. It springs from fear. So, when we say it springs from attachment, we're saying it springs from craving. The mindset that's 'I want this' - from ill will, that is the mindset that says 'I don't want this', right? So we're talking about craving and aversion. From folly, that is delusion: taking things personally, identifying with the experience, bringing up the sense of I, the sense of self, to the experience. And from fear.

So fear is related to ill will, but fear is also in and of itself just that mindset that is hesitating to do anything that is wholesome. So fear can arise from doubt, not the fetter of doubt, the hindrance of doubt. So I want to clarify for you guys what is the hindrance of doubt and what is the fetter of doubt.

The fetter of doubt is related to the doubt in the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha. So that kind of doubt doesn't allow you to actually fully practice the Dhamma, because you still have doubts about what this practice is. That's why, having followed the practice, reached its end, and come to the experience of stream entry, the fetter of doubt goes away, because you realize this is indeed the path leading to Nibbana. But what about the hindrance of doubt?

The hindrance of doubt is that mind that says, am I doing this correctly? Am I 6R-ing correctly? Am I feeling loving kindness? Am I in a wholesome state of mind or unwholesome state of mind? So that is the perplexity about whether you're in a wholesome state of mind or unwholesome state of mind. It gives rise to a certain kind of fear, fear in the sense of am I doing it correctly or am I not doing it correctly, and that can lead to folly, that can lead to you having misguided actions, because if you have doubt and you don't know what is wholesome or unwholesome, then you might do something that is unwholesome thinking it is wholesome. Since they mentioned fear, I also have to mention being a huge Star Wars fan.

There's a great quote about fear by Master Yoda. He says, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. That's dependent origination right there: the arising of this, the arising of that. The cessation of this, there is a cessation of that. Anyway, that has nothing to do with the damage. If the noble disciple does not act out of attachment, ill will, folly, or fear, he will not do evil from any of those four causes.

So, desire and hatred, fear and folly. The more you act out of attachment, the more you act from doubt, the more you act from greed, from hatred, from delusion, the more likely it is that you are going to break a precept. The more likely it is that, because you break a precept, you're going to have a mind that is agitated.

This goes back to what we were talking about yesterday. So it comes back to keeping the precepts. And you keep the precepts by recognizing: is there attachment in the mind? Is there fear in the mind? Is the mind taking this personally? Is there aversion or ill will in the mind? Recognizing that, releasing your attention from it, relaxing, re-smiling, and returning to a wholesome object.

And which are the six ways of wasting one's substance that he does not follow? Addiction to strong drink and sloth-producing drugs is one way of wasting one's substance. So that's the fifth precept. Abstaining from intoxicants. Haunting the streets at unfitting times is one. So don't go out to clubs and things like that, right? Attending fairs is one. Being addicted to gambling is one. Keeping bad company is one. Habitual idleness is one.

There are these six dangers attached to addiction to strong drink and sloth-producing drugs. So now he's going to talk about all of the different dangers of these different things. There is the present waste of money. Think about it. People go out to bars and clubs to get some drink or do some drugs or they just buy some drugs. And for what? For an intoxicated feeling, for a high that lasts maybe all night long, and that's it. And then you get a terrible, terrible hangover after that.

Whatever kind of drugs a person might buy, they're wasting their money on that. It's creating so much imbalance in the mind, with the imbalance in terms of your dopamine levels, in terms of your serotonin levels, and it doesn't produce anything helpful for you. Now, I would also include into this psychedelics. Sure, psychedelics open up the mind and clear the pathways and show you certain kinds of insights.

But then what happens? There is a tendency for the mind to look at that psychedelic as the cause of that and then want more and more and more of it. But now, because they've stayed there, they've experienced extreme amounts of joy from that. Anything else that arises doesn't really compare to it. And some people get stuck in a loop. Not that they're addicted, but they just make their whole personality around, they have ayahuasca and shrooms and all of these other kinds of psychedelics.

And it's not useful. It's not useful at all. It might give you a glimpse into what you think is reality, but then now there is a sense of self that arises around that sense of reality. And then you start to take that personally. And then what happens? You make that into a view and you start clinging to that view. And if that worldview of yours is shattered, then you experience suffering.

Increased quarreling. Yeah, I think you might have seen that when you go to bars. Anybody ever been to a bar fight? Been in a bar fight? Yeah. Liability to sickness. So yeah, you get a headache, you get a hangover, eventually you get liver failure and all these other things. Loss of good name. Yeah, once you start getting drunk, what happens? You start breaking other precepts. You have misconduct. People start looking at you. Oh, there's that person who always gets drunk.

The drunk. He's the town drunk. I don't think I need to explain what that is. And weakening of the intellect. And so is one's property. One is suspected of crimes and false reports are pinned on one and one encounters all sorts of unpleasantness. So haunting the streets at unfitting times. I just... That's... No, well, this is a... Yeah, this is a Maurice Walsh translation. But basically going out at odd hours of the night And, you know, that basically means that, you know, what are you going to do at that time of the night going out?

Make trouble. There you go. That's what you do. There are these six dangers attached to frequenting fairs. One is always thinking, where is their dancing? Where is their singing? Where are they playing music? Are they reciting? Where is their hand clapping? Where are the drums? I guess the danger here is your mind gets fixated around these kinds of things. So you're frequenting fairs. For example, the monastics, they're not allowed to go and see live shows and dancing and all of these things because it's just distracting.

It agitates the mind. So for lay people, does that mean that they can't go out to watch a movie? Of course you can go watch a movie. You always stay home. There's always Netflix. There's always Netflix, right? Yeah. Yeah. So the idea is getting fixated, getting attached to always going out, basically. As a lay person, you earn money and you can enjoy the fruits of that. But understand what are those fruits and are there attachments to those fruits? There are these six dangers attached to gambling.

The winner makes enemies. The loser bewails his loss. One wastes one's present wealth. One's word is not trusted in the assembly. One is despised by one's friends and companions. One is not in demand for marriage because a gambler cannot afford to maintain a wife. So I guess we have to cancel our trip to Las Vegas, huh? Dangers attached to keeping bad company.

These are the kinds of company that you don't want to keep. These are the kinds of social circles that you probably don't want to hang around with. Any gambler, any glutton, any drunkard, any cheat, any trickster, any bully is his friend, his companion. So, any gambler. Because you're going to go out to the casino, play the slot machines, see if you win something.

The glutton. So the glutton is somebody who eats in excess, drinks in excess, or whatever it is, consumes in excess. The drunkard, for obvious reasons. The cheat and trickster. So the cheat and the trickster, con men, con people. People who try to say, hey, let's go out here, and then you're footing the bill. And any bully. Don't want to hang around bullies.

Definitely not. There are these six dangers attached to idleness. So here's an interesting thing. I'm too hungry, one does not work. Thinking I'm too full, one does not work. In other words, not doing your work. Having all kinds of excuses. Oh, the weather isn't so great, maybe I won't go out for walking meditation. The temperature is not right here, maybe I just won't do any meditation right now. It's way too early to meditate. Let me go do something else and I'll come back to it. Procrastinating.

That's basically what it is, procrastinating, whether it's for meditation or your work or any kind of task at hand. And so the teacher added, Dice and drink strong drink and goes with others' well-loved partners. They take the lower, baser course and fade away like waning moon. The drunkard, broke and destitute, ever thirsting as he drinks, like stone and water sinks in debt, soon bereft of all his kin. He who spends his days in sleep and makes the night his waking time, ever drunk and lecherous, cannot keep a decent home. Too cold, too hot, too late, they cry, thus pushing all their work aside, till every chance they might have had of doing good has slipped away.

But he who reckons cold and heat as less than straws, and like a man undertakes the task in hand, his joy will never grow the less. I don't know about that last part, like a man, that's a little sexist, but okay. So, there are these four types who can be seen as foes in friendly guise. The man who is all take is one. The great talker is one. The flatterer is one. And the fellow spendthrift is one.

The man who is all take can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He takes everything. He wants a lot for very little. He does out of fear and he seeks his own ends. So recognize in your own social circle. Do you have friends like that? Don't keep that kind of company. The great talker can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons.

He talks of favors in the past and in the future. He mouths empty phrases of goodwill. And when something needs to be done in the present, pleads inability owing to some disaster. You need a ride to the airport. That person says, yeah, I'll give you a ride to the airport. Suddenly, oh, you know what? My car broke down.

The helpful friend can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He looks after you when you are inattentive, meaning when you're drunk. Designated driver. He looks after your possessions when you are inattentive. He is a refuge when you are afraid. So you can always talk about your fears to that friend. You're worried about something and you're kind of restless about this and thinking about the future, and you can go to them and confide in them. And they'll lend you an ear. It's very rare in this world, whether it was in the past, the present, or the future, to have somebody who will truly listen to you.

Actively listening, meaning just listening to a person without trying to come up with an answer, without trying to come up with some kind of response, but just listening so that the other person feels like they're being heard. Compassion. This is compassion in action, being able to just listen. And when some business is to be done, he lets you have twice what you ask for.

That's pretty rare. The friend who is the same in happy and unhappy times can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He tells you his secrets. He guards your secrets. He does not let you down in misfortune. He would even sacrifice his life for you. Again, very rare. The friend who points out what is good for you can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways.

He keeps you from wrongdoing. He supports you in doing good. And he points out the path to heaven. So in other words, this kind of friend is somebody who looks out for you. They warn you if you are breaking a precept. They warn you if you are going to be doing something wrong. And he guides you. They guide you into making sure that you are keeping your precepts.

This is another form of spiritual friendship. Kalyanamitta. The sympathetic friend can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He does not rejoice at your misfortune. He rejoices at your good fortune. He stops others who speak against you, and he commends others who speak in praise of you. And so it goes into verse, shows the way that's right, the friend who's full of sympathy. These four kinds of friends the wise should know at their true worth, and he should cherish them with care, just like a mother with her dearest child. The wise man, trained and disciplined, shines out like a beacon fire. He gathers wealth just as the bee gathers honey, and it grows like an anthill higher yet.

With wealth so gained, the layman can devote it to his people's good. He should divide his wealth in four. Ah, now here's the financial advice. He should divide his wealth in four. This will bring the most advantage. One part he may enjoy at will. Enjoy it as you want to enjoy it. Two parts he should put to work.

The fourth part he should set aside. So two parts he should put to work. that mean? Invest. The fourth part he should set aside. That could be saving or investing. So two parts he should put to work. In other words, that's for the household. Yeah, mortgage, electricity, all that other stuff. That makes sense. That makes more sense. Some people will live very steeply and they'll only put a little bit and they'll live in a box. Yes. And they'll save everything. So it's all, so you have to bring back a balance. Yeah. And some people won't spend any money for a party at all. Right. But it'll all be safe. Yeah.

Yeah, so some people have 90% savings and 10% just on their lives. So this is the balance, right? He says one part you should enjoy at will. So that's going out to restaurants or buying that car that you wanted or whatever it might be. Two parts to put to work, now that makes sense. So that's basically for your livelihood, in terms of maintaining that mortgage, for example, the electricity bill, the groceries, all the basic necessities.

And then the fourth part he should set aside, your rainy day fund. Now, these are just guidelines. So the fourth part he should set aside as reserve in times of need. That's your rainy day fund. But the way to understand it is you can follow this exactly, or you can create your own ratios, whatever works for you and your lifestyle.

Some people like to save some, some like to invest some, words, whatever they need. So the whole point is don't just spend all your money. And definitely, again, I'm not a financial advisor, but definitely don't go into debt. Don't go into unnecessary debt. Don't become a slave to debt. So pay off your mortgage, pay off whatever it is you have to pay off and all of these other things. And be smart with your money. That's all the Buddha is saying. Just be smart with your money. There's another sutta, where I have to find it. It's either in the Anguttara Nikaya or Samyutta Nikaya, where the Buddha talks about what makes a good businessman, what makes a good shopkeeper.

How does he manage his store? Yeah. So the Buddha wasn't all about just meditation, because 90% of it was to the monastics in terms of meditation and things like that. But to the lay people, he also said there's a way to living your life, to have a good life. There's nothing wrong with having a good life if you're a lay person.

And how, householders, does the noble disciple protect the six directions? These six things are to be regarded as the six directions. So now understand the six directions. The reason why this person was worshipping the six directions is because his father told him to. It's a process, it's a ritual that he was doing. But now the Buddha is saying, okay, you're talking about paying devotion to these six directions.

But there is another way of understanding it. The east denotes mother and father. The south denotes teachers. The west denotes wife and children. The north denotes friends and companions. The nadir denotes servants, workers and helpers. The zenith denotes ascetics and brahmins. So, when it comes to the eastern direction, there are five ways in which a son or a daughter should minister to their mother and father as the eastern direction.

They should think, having been supported by them, I will support them. Paying back all the good that they've done for you. That's great. Some parents are abusive. Some parents aren't really, I mean, they're just not really parents. They're parents in name only. And in those situations, you don't do anything, but you have gratitude for them still. Why?

Because they brought you into this life with the opportunity to experience all that life has to offer, including nirvana. I will perform their duties for them. I will keep up the family tradition. I will be worthy of my inheritance. After my parents' death, I will distribute gifts on their behalf, meaning I'll see to their will, make sure that their will is executed. And there are five ways in which the parents so minister to their son or daughter as the eastern direction will reciprocate. In other words,

This is the parent's duty to their children. They will restrain him or her from evil, support them in doing good, teach them some skill, find them a suitable partner, and in due time hand over their inheritance to them. In this way the eastern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. This is relationships, relationship management in the lay life, right? How to have a good relationship with your parents, with your elders. And it's not just that you have to show respect to them, but the parents too have a duty to their children.

And so we talked about that. Now, there are the five ways in which pupils or students minister to their teachers as the southern direction. You know, that's interesting. When it says the south denotes teachers, I was reading the note on this. So in Sanskrit, south is dakshina. And in Pali it's dakshina. And dakshina also means dhana to the teacher. On words, and this is how one should minister to their teachers as the southern direction: by rising to greet them, by waiting on them, by being attentive, by serving them, by mastering the skills they teach. And now, this is the responsibilities of a student to a teacher, right? And the responsibility to the student.

That's also very important. And there are five ways in which their teachers, thus ministered to by their students as the southern direction, will reciprocate. They will give thorough instruction. Make sure they have grasped what they should have duly grasped. Give them a thorough grounding in all skills. Recommend them to their friends and colleagues, writing letters of recommendation.

And provide them with security in all directions. This is an interesting one. You know, in ancient India, even during the time of the Buddha, but even before then, there was this relationship between the teacher and the student. In ancient India, when a student's life actually was, from the age of about, let's say, seven or eight to about 25, this was the student's life. This was known as brahmacharya, and the idea was all the students, all of the kids, would go to the teacher. The teacher was known as the guru, and the guru had a gurukul. Gurukul, that's where the word curriculum comes from. So the gurukul was like a place, it was like a boarding school, where all the kids came together, and they were learning from the guru.

But the guru was responsible for all of the needs of the students, in terms of their security, in terms of their food, in terms of their lodging, and so on. So back in ancient India, this was one of the responsibilities of a teacher. Maybe we should go to your teachers and ask them. The next one is, before we continue. So, in this way, the southern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

There are five ways in which a husband should minister to his wife. I think for today's life, today's world, we can upgrade that. Basically, a partner should minister to their partner. That could be a husband to a husband, a wife to a wife, a husband to a wife, or a wife to a husband. As the western direction.

By honoring them, by not disparaging them, by not being unfaithful to them, by giving authority to them, by providing them with adornments. And there are five ways in which a wife thus ministered to by her husband as the western direction will reciprocate. Now again, this can be in either direction. By properly organizing their work, by being kind to the servants, by not being unfaithful, by protecting storage, meaning protecting the food, protecting all of the stuff that they own, by being skillful and diligent in all they have to do.

In this way, the western direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. Now, in today's world, we have stay-at-home dads, right? We have stay-at-home moms and we have stay-at-home dads. Accordingly, they will reciprocate their service to one another. There are five ways in which a man should minister to his friends and companions as the northern direction. In other words, in general, how do you serve your friends? How do you show respect to your friends?

By gifts, by kindly words, by looking after their welfare, by treating them like oneself, and by keeping your word. by one as the northern direction, will reciprocate. By looking after him when he is inattentive. Again, when he's drunk. By looking after his property when he is inattentive. By being a refuge when he is afraid. By not deserting him when he is in trouble. Those are rare friends indeed.

And by showing concern for his children. In this way, the northern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. There are five ways in which a master should minister to his servants and work people as the nadir. By arranging their work according to their strength, by supplying them with food and wages, by looking after them when they are ill, by sharing special delicacies with them, and by letting them off work at the right time.

So how do you treat your employees, basically? That means by arranging their work according to their strength, knowing what responsibilities an employee can fulfill, what kind of roles they can fulfill. By supplying them with food and wages. In today's world, that's like having good pay, providing them with good pay. By looking after them when they are ill. I think this could translate to providing health care possibly. Dental and health care.

Mental too. There you go. By sharing special delicacies with them. This could be referred to as bonuses. Offering bonuses. And by letting them off work at the right time. And there are five ways in which servants and work people, thus ministered to by their master as the nadir, will reciprocate. They will get up before him, go to bed after him, take only what they are given, do their work properly, and be bearers of his praise and good repute.

So this was in the case of people who were servants, like people who were household staff. You get up before the person of the house is up, make sure that everything is well taken care of, and then you go to bed after there, and all these other things. Take only what they are given, so not stealing from them.

Do their work properly, so just be diligent in your work, and be bearers of his praise and good repute. Be happy when people are happy, or praise the employer. should minister to ascetics and Brahmins as the zenith. By kindness in bodily deed, speech and thought, by keeping open house for them, by supplying their bodily needs.

So the kindness in bodily deed, speech and thought, those are the three. Being kind to them. When we're talking about Brahmins and ascetics, these are basically monastics or any kind of person who is not in the lay life. By keeping open house for them, welcoming them to your home. By supplying their bodily needs. Providing them with shelter, providing them with food, providing them with any kind of clothes they require, providing them with medicines if they require.

So those are the four requisites, right? Food, robes, shelter, and medicine. But there's a fifth one now. And the ascetics and Brahmins, thus ministered to by him as the zenith, will reciprocate in six ways. They will restrain him from evil, encourage him to do good, be benevolently compassionate towards him, teach him what he has not heard, clarify what he has heard, and point out the way to heaven.

Let's go over that. They will restrain him from evil. So make sure that they're keeping their precepts. Encourage him to keep their precepts. That's encouraging him to do good. Be benevolently compassionate towards him. Radiating loving kindness to them. Radiating compassion to them. Teach them what has not been heard. Teach them new things. Teach them new ways of approaching meditation, or whatever it might be. Clarify what they have already heard. Maybe they have doubts. They have some kind of clarification required for certain things that the teacher has already said.

And point out the way to heaven. Now this is for lay people. I know that Sariputta was admonished by the Buddha at one time for guiding somebody to the Brahma Loka. And he said you could have guided him all the way to Nirvana. In this way, the zenith is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

And thus the Bhagavat said: Mother and father are the east. Teachers are the southward point. Wife and children are the west, or family are the west. Friends and colleagues are the north. Servants and workers are below. Ascetics and Brahmins are above. All should be honored by a clansman true. He who is wise and disciplined, kindly and intelligent, humble, free from pride, such a one may honor gain. Early rising, scorning sloth, unshaken by adversity, of faultless conduct, ready wit, such a one may honor gain. Making friends and keeping them, welcoming no stingy host, philosopher and friend, such a one may honor gain, giving gifts and kindly speech, a life well spent for others' good, even-handed in all things, impartial as each case demands.

These things make the world go round, like the chariot's axle pin. If such things did not exist, no mother from her son would get any honor and respect, no father either, as they're due. These qualities are held by the wise in high esteem. They are given prominence and are rightly praised by all. At these words, Sigalaka said to the Blessed One: Excellent, Reverend Gautama, excellent. It is as if someone were to set up what had to be knocked down, or to point out the way to one who had gotten lost, or to bring an oil lamp to a dark place so that those with eyes could see what was. Just so, Master Gautama has expounded the Dhamma in various ways.

May the Master Gautama accept me as a lay follower from this day forth as long as life shall last. I'm pretty straightforward, right? Okay, good. So let's share some merit. May suffering ones be suffering free and the fear struck fearless be. May the grieving shed all grief and may all beings find relief. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. Space and earth, devas and nagas of mighty power, share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu.