Day 8 DN31 Advice to Lay-People

Say it ain't so, but it is so, that we are getting close to the end of this retreat. But such is impermanence, is it not? As we prepare for the end of the retreat, you will obviously have certain questions about what do you do off of retreat? How do you maintain your life when you get back into the world? What is it like to be a layperson who is rooted in the Dhamma? And so there is a beautiful sutta, which is Digha Nikaya 31, which is known as Sigalovada Sutta, the advice to lay people.

Thus have I heard, once the Lord was staying at Rajagaha, at the squirrel's feeding place in the bamboo grove. By the way, this place is still there. When you go on the road to Rajgir, Rajagaha is now modern-day Rajgir. The bamboo forest, it's no longer a forest. You walk inside and it's this beautiful sort of lake in the middle with bamboo shoots everywhere.

And there are still squirrels and there are monkeys, which you should be looking out for. And at that time, Sigalaka, the householder's son, having got up early. This is a tradition in certain parts of India where you go into a water body, usually a river, and you offer your salutations to the different directions. So he says, and the zenith.

So we're talking about the different directions, right? The six directions. And the Blessed One, having risen early and dressed, took his robe and bowl and went to Rajagaha for alms. And seeing Sigalaka paying homage to the different directions, he said, different directions. My father, when he was dying, told me to do so. And so out of respect for my father's words, which I revere, honor, and hold sacred, I have got up thus early to pay homage in this way to the Six Directions. Well, Lord, how should one pay homage to the six directions according to the noble discipline? It would be proper, it would be good if the Blessed One were to teach me the proper way to pay homage to the six directions according to the noble discipline.

Then listen carefully, pay attention, and I will speak. Venerable Sir, said Sigalaka. And the Blessed One said, Young householder, it is by abandoning the four defilements of action, by not doing evil from four causes, by not following the six ways of wasting one's substance, through avoiding these fourteen evil ways, that the noble disciple covers the six directions.

And by such practice becomes a conqueror of both worlds, so that all will go well with him in this world and the next. And at the breaking up of the body after death, he will go to a good destination, a heavenly world. What are the four defilements of action that are abandoned? Taking life is one. Taking what is not given is one.

Sexual misconduct is one. Lying speech is one. These are the four defilements of action that he should abandon or that he abandons. So taking life, stealing, lying, adultery, the wise reprove, says the Buddha. Really what we're talking about is keeping the precepts. That's important. Now, on this retreat, you have been taking eight precepts, which includes not eating after the noonday meal, includes not wearing any kind of makeup or perfumes, things like that, and not dancing and singing, among other things.

When you get off a retreat, you will be taking the five precepts: to refrain from taking life, that is, not to harm another living being, not to harm or kill another living being, not to take what is not given, not to steal, not to take credit from someone, not to take someone's time, not to waste someone's attention. So, really, this is about taking what is given. In other words, it has been freely given to you, whatever is that this person explicitly says you may have this or you may ask, may I have this? So respecting the boundaries of others is really what we're talking about here. Sometimes we think that we are the star of the meeting and we're taking up people's time that is not freely given, that is forcibly taken. So that's one thing. Another is sexual misconduct.

We talk about sensual misconduct or sexual misconduct. So, sensual misconduct is in the pursuit of sensual pleasures. In that sensual craving, we break other precepts. Sexual misconduct is obviously not doing anything that infringes upon the consent of someone who can give consent. I think that's the easiest way to explain this. And finally, not using false speech. That's the fourth precept that's mentioned here. False speech also includes gossip. People love to gossip. And gossip should end with you. If somebody is saying, hey, did you hear about so-and-so? Did you hear about that?

Just don't say anything. it might be, just don't say anything. Or just say, I choose not to really indulge in that. I don't have any opinion about this or that. And so what is gossip? You're talking about a person behind their back with the fear that if they were to hear what you had said about them, they would not feel good about it.

Then, using speech that is unnecessary to just pass the time, to fill the silence. Not necessary. We talk about think before you speak. One thing that's not mentioned here, but it's obviously more than worth noting, is intoxicants. And we'll get into this. He will actually mention this. But intoxicants, not indulging in any intoxicants that dull the mind.

You see, I have noticed this in my last five or six years of teaching now. That people who have indulged in intoxicants in the past, who have worn out their mind by mindlessly watching television for hours, let alone drinking alcohol or snorting cocaine or whatever the drug of choice may be, that it is very difficult for them to meditate because they have a lot of sloth and torpor. They have stretched out their nervous system in such a way that it is very difficult to focus, to have a sense of unification of the mind.

What are the four causes of evil from which he refrains? Desire and hatred, fear and folly. He who breaks the law through these loses all his fair repute, like the moon at waning time. Desire and hatred, fear and folly. He who never yields to these grows in goodness and repute like the moon at waxing time. So desire here is actually the word for craving.

So the actions that come from craving come from hatred, that come from fear. I'm a fan of Star Wars. And so the wise Jedi Master Yoda had said one time, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. That's dependent origination right there. Fear. What is fear? Fear of losing. Fear of identification. Being besmirched in our personality or our ego or our pride. Whatever it is, it all stems from fear of loss.

I don't want this thing to happen, so I will do something else. And we act in a way that is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The very thing that we try to prevent happens because we are motivated by that fear. And folly is negligence, is delusion, it's heedlessness, it's the lack of mindfulness. It's not paying attention to what's going on.

The world out there, for the most part, is a world of speed. Everything needs to be quick. Everything has to happen now. Fast cars, fast food, fast shopping, right? Nowadays in India, all grocery shopping can be done just with the tap of a phone. And in 20 minutes, you get all your shopping done. Somebody comes and delivers it at your door. Convenience, very convenient.

There's some things in India that are more technologically convenient than they are here in the U.S. The world is about that. The world is about now. Give me this now. I want this now. And my KPI should be matched. Efficiency. How much more efficient can I get in my work? Do this now. That's not life. That's not how we were meant to live.

I was watching this thing on, I think it was Instagram. Yes, I do use Instagram. And in that reel, there was a guy who was saying, it's like we are the only species on this planet that pays for its living. And in that motivation to get what we want, to get more money, which represents our livelihood, we do all kinds of things. They're late to something. I have to get ready. I have to do this. I have to do that.

Animals, when they wake up, don't have a job to go to. They don't have a career to make. They don't have a reputation to keep. So, why are we living this way? Can we slow down? Can we slow down? What is the hurry? We're all going to die anyway. Why not take it easy? What's the big rush?

So why am I bringing this up? Because when you go back into the real world, the world out there, for your attention. Do this. Do that. Go get that done. Go do this job. Go do this. Get to your flight. Get from point A to point B. All of these things. You can do it with a hurried nervous system of, yeah, I got to do this. Or you can calm down and you can relax and take it easy.

And as you do that through your day, slow things down. You become less reactive and you become more responsive. There really is no rush. And if you work in an environment or you are in a place where it requires you to do things now and you have to do that and you have to get efficient and all of that, quit your job.

Quit. You're not meant to live a life where you're supposed to be slaving away like this. I know it's easy for me to say because I don't have a job. But I never had a job. I was never able to keep a job. This is the only thing I know to do. So, find the balance in your life.

Find the time in your life to slow things down and meditate. When you start your day with meditation, notice how that day goes. And the days you skip your practice, notice how that day goes. It's a very subtle difference, or sometimes a very large difference that you can tell. You see, what we have done, the ego structure, the self, all of that is inherited from the world around us.

We are told to be a certain way because of our parents, because of our teachers, because of our peers, because of our friends, because of our colleagues, because of our employers, and so on and so forth. We are just borrowed information. That is what our ego structure is, our personality is. A little selfish. Selfish with your peace.

Selfish with your time. Selfish with your energy. It's okay to be called selfish. As long as you are at peace. There was a time when I was in Cambodia. In 2019, I left San Diego and I went to Cambodia where my parents were. And this was just before the pandemic hit. So this was maybe the early months of 2020 or maybe late months of 2019, somewhere around that time. And as a typical Indian father and Asian father would say, what do you want to do with your life?

What are you going to do? Are you going to get a job now? Do you want to start a business? Do you want to go back to school? How are you going to make money? And I said, the only thing that matters to me is peace of mind. If making money in a way that causes disruption for my peace of mind is there, I don't want to do that.

So everything that I do, I measure by, does this bring me more peace or does this take me away from my peace? After that, my dad stopped asking me what I want to do with my life. Because he understood. He understood. So, really, when you go back, understand that gauge. Is this bringing me more peace? Will this reaction bring me more peace? Or will it bring me more suffering?

And I get it. Life is complicated. It's complex. There are many choices we have to make where we have to make sacrifices. And that's fine. Sometimes we may delay certain things because of those sacrifices. But to what extent? How much are you willing to delay? How much are you willing to sacrifice? And to what end?

Because remember, in your final moments in your life, you will look back and you will ask, did I do what I wanted to do? Was I happy? Was I spending more time with my loved ones? Did I maintain my friendships? Was I able to forgive? And which are the six ways of wasting one's substance that he does not follow?

Addiction to alcohol and sloth-producing drugs of wasting one's substance. So we talked about this, the fifth precept. Haunting the streets at unfitting times is one. Haunting the streets, like hungry ghosts. Attending fairs is one. Being addicted to gambling is one. Keeping bad company is one. Habitual idleness is one. So here really the Buddha is talking about creating an environment for yourself that causes agitation in the mind, dealing with or ingesting substances that create agitation, that create sloth and torpor. So how do you want to spend your time? Israeli, again, going back to that, how do you want to spend your time?

Wasting one substance, this interesting word, substance. I don't know what the Pali is, but I can say it's probably related to the Sanskrit, ojas. There is a concept in Ayurveda called ojas. And ojas, it's what gives the glow to your skin when you meditate. It's what gives you that sense of peace. And in Ayurveda, it's the thing that is the most subtle essence. It's within the blood, but it's the most subtle part of the blood. That's the Ayurvedic idea. So wasting one's substance means reducing one's peace. Reducing one's peace means reducing one's glow.

How you spend your time wasting your life essence away. These are the six dangers attached to the addiction of alcohol and sloth-producing drugs: present waste of money, increased quarreling, liability to sickness, loss of good name, indecent exposure of one's person, and weakening of the intellect. Enough said, right? I think that's pretty self-explanatory. These are the six dangers attached to haunting the streets at unfitting times.

One is defenseless and without protection. So are one's family and so is one's property. One is suspected of crimes and false reports are pinned on one and one encounters all sorts of unpleasantness. Fairs. One is always thinking: where is the dancing? Where is the singing? Where are they playing music? Where are they reciting? Where is their hand clapping? Where are the drums? This is the modern day equivalent of hanging out at clubs. Where is the latest beat? Where is the latest music? Where is the latest scene?

Bar hopping? Club hopping? These are the things. I've done this in the past when I was much younger. When that was going on, you didn't think much of it, right? But the next day, you felt it. The next morning, you felt it. So, I don't think anyone here is sensible, everyone is sensible, right? They're not going to be doing these things. I don't expect you to get off retreat and being like, all right, let's go to the club now, right? Well, maybe, I don't know. Some of you look like you could be. These are the six dangers attached to gambling. The winner makes enemies.

The loser bewails his loss. One wastes one's present wealth. One's word is not trusted in the assembly. One is despised by one's friends and companions. One is not in demand for marriage. A gambler cannot afford to maintain a family. These are the six dangers attached to keeping bad company. So here he's talking about the different kinds of people not to be associated with.

Any gambler, any glutton, any drunkard, any cheat, any trickster, any bully is his friend or his companion. Great people to be around. You want to be with people who are looking out for your best interests, and it's very difficult in today's world to see that. Some people are cloyingly sweet in front of you and then they stab your back the next day, so it's very difficult to find good friends. But if you don't have friends like that, it's okay. Better not to have friends than to have friends who stab you in the back.

Better to maintain silence and solitude and uphold your dignity and your peace of mind than to deal with people who lie behind your back, who trick you, who cheat you. So there is a saying from the suttas: better to be like a tusker alone in the forest. That means that if you can't find wise companions, if you can't find companions in the holy life, fellow practitioners, then maintain your solitude and practice on your own. We have resources.

We have YouTube. We have books. We have online videos. We can follow that when we have no Sangha with us. These are the six dangers attached to idleness. Thinking it's too cold, one does not work. Thinking it's too hot, one does not work. Thinking it's too early, one does not work. Thinking it's too late, one does not work. Thinking I am too hungry, one does not work. Thinking I'm too full, one does not work.

This is my vice. I have books to write, and I make excuses. And I say, well, I'm on retreat. I need time. I need space. To kind of go back and all I have to do is just look at the edits and approve the edits or delete the edits. It doesn't take more time than maybe a week. And I've prolonged it for three months.

So idleness. Of course, in this context, we're talking about practice. Yeah, well, it's just one day. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll practice tomorrow. Well, it's just a couple of days. I'll make up for it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. So really this is about maintaining consistency with your practice. Having that discipline. I hope you don't forget to brush your teeth.

You don't forget to take a shower. So why forget to meditate? Meditate. Meditation is mental hygiene. It's helping to clean up your mind, clean up your heart, clean up your attention. If you treat it that way, then there'll be a day where you'll be like, no, no, I have to let go of everything and just meditate right now.

And that's a wonderful space to be in. And so the Buddha says, friends and stinginess. These six things destroy one. One who goes with wicked friends and spends their time in wicked deeds, in this world and the next as well, that person will come to suffer woe. Dicing, wenching, drinking too, dancing, singing, daylight sleep, untimely prowling, evil friends and stinginess destroy one.

He drinks strong drink and goes with others' well-loved wives. He takes the lower baser course and fades away like waning moon. The drunkard, broke and destitute, ever thirsting as he drinks, like stone and water sinks in debt, soon bereft of all his kin. He who spends his days in sleep and makes the night his waking time, ever drunk and lecherous, cannot keep a decent home.

Too cold, too hot, too late, they cried, thus pushing all their work aside, till every chance they might have had of doing good has slipped away. But he who reckons cold and heat as less than straws, and like a man undertakes the task in hand, his joy will never grow the less. Who reckons cold and heat as less than straws. Equanimity. We talk about the six vicissitudes of existence.

Profit and loss, praise and blame, heat and cold, pleasure and pain, and so on. To be able to be in a state of equipoise is challenging, very difficult. But the tools of practice, the tools of meditation and ethics and insight, allow for one to develop that equipoise. And we will make mistakes. We will give in to hatred. We will give in to lust. We will give in to delusion.

But eventually we learn, we see, and we stop reacting. Eventually we become disenchanted with the vicissitudes of life and we live very peacefully. Well, this is most of the world nowadays, right? It's very difficult, as I said. There's a reason why the Buddha was there at the time that he was. And it's very difficult to find wise sages in today's time. Most people are all about take, take, take. What can I get out of this guy? What can I get out of this person?

The great talker can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He talks of favors in the past and in the future. He mouths empty phrases of goodwill. And when something needs to be done in the present, he pleads inability owing to some disaster. Oh, my car broke down. Happen. I can't make it. I can't help you. Be careful of the people who speak very sweet words to you.

I say this out of experience. There are a lot of flatterers out there. Be wise. There you go. The flatterer can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He assents to bad actions. He dissents from good actions. He praises you to your face and he disparages you behind your back. The fellow spendthrift can be seen to be a false friend for four reasons. He is a companion when you indulge in alcohol, when you haunt the streets, when you frequent fairs, and when you indulge in gambling. So this is a person who motivates you to do the things that you shouldn't be doing.

And so the Blessed One says this: The friend who seeks what he can get, the friend who talks but empty words, the friend who merely flatters you, the friend who is a fellow wastrel, these four are really foes, not friends. The wise recognizing this should hold themselves aloof from them, as from some path of panic fear. Householder son, there are these four types who can be seen to be loyal friends.

The friend who is a helper is one. The friend who is the same in happy and unhappy times is one. The friend who points out what is good for you is one. And the friend who is sympathetic is one. The helpful friend can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He looks after you when you are inattentive.

He looks after your possessions when you are inattentive. He is a refuge when you are afraid. And when some business is to be done, he lets you have twice what you ask for. That's impossible in today's world. That last part. Very difficult to find. But there are friends like that. They look out for your best interests. They point out where you are going wrong, to the points where you need to work on yourself. When you are inattentive, the note here says when you're inattentive, it really means when you are drunk, they look after you. They make sure that you don't falter. Right, exactly. The friend who is the same in happy and unhappy times can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways.

his secrets. He guards your secrets. He does not let you down in misfortune. And he would even sacrifice his life for you. Very difficult in today's world. But I think when somebody says something to you in confidence, be the good friend. And do not go about saying, hey, look what I heard. Listen to what I have heard. Don't be the telegraph.

And it's very difficult, why keep any of your secrets with people in general? If you trust this person well enough, after having seen them being a good confidant, somebody who keeps their words, then if you feel like you need to talk about certain things, go right ahead. That's fine. be a loyal friend in four ways. He keeps you from wrongdoing.

He supports you in doing good. He informs you of what you did not know. And he points out the path to heaven. The reason why the Buddha is talking about this is because at the time lay people were not so interested in moksha. They were not interested in enlightenment. Vedic or post-Vedic society. If you were to read the Vedas, the Vedas say nothing about the cycle of rebirth. They say nothing about transcending the cycle of rebirth. They are prayers and hymns to the gods Indra and Vayu and Varuna and all of these interesting deities for the sake of acquiring wealth and power and grains and security and so on and so forth.

So heaven, swerglok, is their destination. So the Buddha is, remember, he's talking to a lay person. So he's saying that such a person who points out what is good for you, he keeps you from wrongdoing. He tells you where you're going wrong. He tries to help you correct your ways. He supports you when you are doing good.

He informs you of what you did not know. So he keeps you informed. And he points out the path to heaven. The sympathetic friend who can be seen to be a loyal friend in four ways. He does not rejoice at your misfortune. He rejoices at your good fortune. He stops others who speak against you. And he commends others who speak in praise of you.

So the Buddha says, and the friend in times both good and bad, the friend who shows the way that's right, the friend who's full of sympathy, these four kinds of friends the wise should know as their true worth. And he should cherish them with care, just like a mother with her dearest child. The wise man, trained and disciplined, shines out like a beacon fire. He gathers wealth just as the bee gathers honey. He should divide his wealth in four. This will most advantage bring.

One part he may enjoy at will. Two parts he should put to work. The fourth part he should set aside as reserve in times of need. Now the Buddha is even giving us financial advice. Look at what he says. And look, this is just different ratios of how you can divide up your income. One part he may enjoy at will.

So that's whatever makes sense to you. Go on that vacation. Buy that Ferrari if you can afford it. Do the thing that makes you happy. I like to spend my money by making memories, by taking my family out for vacations, by traveling, by having a good time with my friends, by paying for their meals when I can.

Two parts he should put to work. This is investing in something. Investing in skills for your career, for your job. The market, right? If you have enough, put it in something. He's talking about saving. He's saying, do something that will help to grow your wealth. And the fourth part, he should set aside as reserve in times of need.

Now, there is another part of this, which is dana, which is to give to those in need, to charities, to monastics, to teachers, to people who subsist on dana. So when we talk about dana, it comes, it's translated as generosity. And when we talk about generosity, it can be generosity of our time, it can be generosity of our skills, it can be generosity of our influence, helpful for another person's need. I know a guy. I can help you. That kind of thing. When we talk about dana in terms of money or in terms of resources, this is the part where people can be either overly generous or stingy.

And you have to decide what works for you. is about how much can you realistically let go of, not because you're trying to just let go, but because in the letting go, it makes you happy. You are happy to do this. I have a chief dana officer in India. His name is Shambhu. Really great guy. Some of my friends, they've met him.

And whenever I get a chance, I will go and see him. He lives in Sarnath. He lives close to Varanasi. And he spent most of his childhood days in the monastery. So he lived with monks. He took up Sinhalese. So he knows how to speak with monks from Sri Lanka or tourists from Sri Lanka. of the different sites, the pilgrimage sites for Buddhists.

But he's an amazing dana machine. I like to give dana to charities and places like that, but I love giving it to Shambhu because I know he knows where it is most needed. So when I visit Varanasi, he'll come and see me and we'll go together, we'll go to the monastery and he will have cooks prepare food and he'll make sure there's enough food for all the monastics there, enough envelopes for donations to give to the monastics.

And not just monastics. He will go to the orphanages. He will go to the old age sanctuaries. He will go to hospitals. So I love preferring to give it to him because I know the money will go exactly where it needs to go. When I say, why don't you make sure you keep a little for yourself?

And he says, he calls me Guruji. He says, Guruji, I don't need anything. As long as I have your blessings, I'm well-to-do. So I always, of course, leave him a very generous tip when I leave Varanasi. But he's one of those rare gems. He's wonderful. So make sure that the dana that you give goes somewhere that you feel is most beneficial as well.

where you feel like, okay, I think this will be of benefit to these people or to this person. And, householder son, does the noble disciple protect the six directions? These six things are to be regarded as the six directions. The east denotes the mother and father. The south denotes teachers. The west denotes family. That means one's spouse and children. The north denotes friends and companions.

The nadir denotes servants, workers, and helpers. The zenith denotes ascetics and brahmins. These are the five ways in which one should minister to one's parents as the eastern direction. So he's saying each of these directions represent different relationships that we have in our life and what are our duties to these different people in our lives. He says, having been supported by them, he says he should think thus, having been supported by them, I will support them. I will perform their duties for them. I will keep up the family tradition. I will be worthy of my heritage. gifts on their behalf.

So this is a very sort of maybe Eastern thing. I don't know how important it is out here in the West, but as far as I know in India, the duty, especially of the elder son, is to take care of one's parents, right? And this is what I do. I still follow that tradition. After my father passed away, I made sure that my mother and sister never had to worry about anything, right?

In fact, I'll tell you, this was maybe a couple of weeks before my father passed. He said to me, promise me you will take care of your mother and sister. And I said, why do you have to say that? Everything is going to be fine. You just focus on your health. He said, no, no, you have to promise me you will. but don't worry about anything. He said, okay, I feel fine now. I feel good. And of course, a couple of weeks later, he did pass away. But before he passed away, I did recommit my promise to him. And that gave him a lot of peace in his mind.

So it is cultural in some sense, yes. But it is also very gratifying to be able to help one's parents when one can, as best as possible. Because the debt that we owe to them is unrepayable. They brought us into this world where we have the capacity and potential to experience awakening for ourselves. Let alone if they have been wise, good parents, supportive parents, us in our youth, in our adolescence, and even beyond that, given us advice.

Of course, when we're teenagers, we don't think anything of their advice. They don't know a thing. We know better. But as we grow older, we seek their counsel. We realize, oh yeah, they were right. That was right. And there are five ways in which the parents so ministered to by their child as the Eastern direction will reciprocate. So those who are parents, they will restrain them from evil, support him in doing good, teach him some skill, find them a suitable partner, and in due time hand over their inheritance to him. Eastern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear. So parents, it is a very tough job. I am not a parent, thankfully, but I understand.

I have seen, and I've seen my friends who are parents, and they are frustrated with their children. They don't seem to listen. They don't seem to know that I have gone through this. I know exactly what is going on. Why don't they listen? But you have to keep at it, and you have to have that patience. And the other part is, he talks about finding a suitable partner, and so on and so forth. My mother gave up on that a long time ago. She tried doing that in my mid-twenties. At the age of 27, she tried to set me up with many different women, and it never went well. I just didn't want it to go well.

And finally, I think she just gave up and she said, okay, if he wants to find someone, he will find someone. And the funny thing is even my father, at one point before he passed, like maybe a few days before he was in the hospital, he said, look, I know you're not interested in marriage and I know you're not interested in finding a partner, but at some point in your life, if you feel like you're ready, go ahead for it. So that's again, maybe a cultural thing. But parents want the best for their children. And they want to make sure that their children are happy.

That's the duty of a parent. When you're trying to help them develop a skill. Why? Because you know that this is a world which requires you to earn a living if you're a lay person. So finding the right skill set for that child so that they can make the best of their life. You don't realize all of these things until you become a parent yourself or until you reflect and you're like, oh yeah, I understand now. These are five ways in which pupils should minister to their teachers as the southern direction. By rising to greet them, by waiting on them, by being attentive, by serving them, by mastering the skills they teach.

In this context, yes, I am your teacher. I don't need anything from you except for you to just follow instructions. That's it. But also, I give you the space to make your own mistakes so that you see for yourself, oh, okay, this is why you told me not to do that. And that's the thing about being a teacher. We want to make sure that you're doing the best. We are invested in your welfare. We have to allow you guys to fail.

I can tell you, I can tell you many times, don't do this, don't do that, or do this, or do that, or have you thought about it this way? And unless you yourself go through it and see the consequences of not listening to instructions, or listening to the wrong instructions, or whatever it might be, you're not going to learn for yourself.

And the other thing is, sometimes you will say something to a student a hundred times, and one day they will come to you and say that very same thing you've said as if it was a new insight that they got. And you will say, oh, that's wonderful, that's great. And there are five ways in which their teachers, thus ministered to by their pupils as the Southern Direction will reciprocate.

They will give thorough instruction. So that is my duty to you. Make sure that they have grasped what they should have duly grasped. Give them a thorough grounding in all skills. Recommend them to their friends and colleagues and provide them with security in all directions. In this way, the Southern Direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

There are five ways. Okay, so this is going to be an interesting one. Just listen. There are five ways in which a husband should minister to his wife as the Western direction. By honoring her, by not disparaging her, by not being unfaithful to her, by giving authority to her, by providing her with adornments. Obviously, we live in a world where it's not that cut and dry. We have different kinds of partnerships, different kinds of relationships. And so we organize the duties according to what makes sense for the household. Okay, I will do the cooking, you do the cleaning, or I will do this and I will do that. But as a man, it's nice to get gifts from your girlfriend or from your wife also.

It's not just the husband giving gifts to the wife. That's what it says here. But yeah, it's knowing what the responsibilities are and splitting them in the way that makes the most sense for the household. There are five ways in which a man should minister to his friends and companions as the northern direction. By gifts, by kindly words, by looking after their welfare, by treating them like himself, and by keeping his word. Pretty self-explanatory. There are five ways in which friends and companions thus ministered to by one as the northern direction will reciprocate.

By looking after him when he is inattentive, when he is drunk. By looking after his property when he is inattentive. By being a refuge when he is afraid. Somebody comes to you and says, I am nervous about this or I don't know about that and these kinds of things. This is very close to home. A few weeks ago my mother was in the ICU, and this was at a time just before we were starting the next retreat, so I was trying to make a decision of whether I needed to leave the retreat or what I should do. And then my sister was also hospitalized.

So all the while, I was talking with David and Kirsten and Bhante Kusala and trying to figure out what to do. And they gave me their support. They gave me their advice. They said, let's wait and see how things go. Remember, we still have the retreat. So if something really bad happens, maybe you should go. So in those trying times, I had friends like these who were able to provide a lending ear, who were able to lend an ear, who were a refuge when I was afraid.

By not deserting him when he is in trouble. This is a big one. Very few people do this. And by showing concern for his children. So being somebody who helps to raise the child, not just because of anything, but just because, maybe giving them friendly advice or whatever it might be. In this way, the northern direction is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

There are five ways in which a master should minister to his servants and work people as the nadir. By arranging their food according to their strength, by supplying them with food and wages, by looking after them when they are ill, sharing special delicacies with them, and by letting them off work at the right time. So this is an employer. Do any of your bosses share any delicacies with you?

And there are five ways in which the servants or work people thus ministered to by them as the nadir will reciprocate. They will get up before him, go to bed after him, take only what they are given, do their work properly, and be bearers of his praise and good repute. In this way the nadir is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

There are five ways in which a man should administer to ascetics and Brahmins. So these are monastics and people who teach the Dhamma. Brahmins here are really the teachers. In the Vedic context, they are the priests, but Brahmins really mean somebody who is a noble one. By kindness in bodily deed, speech, and thought, by keeping open house for them, by supplying their physical needs like food and water and shelter.

And the ascetics and Brahmins thus minister to him as their zenith will reciprocate in six ways. Him from evil. Encourage him to do good. Be benevolently compassionate towards him. Teach him what he has not heard and point to him the way to heaven. Again, because that is the goal for lay people. In this way, the zenith is covered, making it at peace and free from fear.

And thus the teacher added: mother and father are the east; teachers at the southern point, and child are the west; friends and colleagues are the north; servants and workers are below; ascetics and Brahmins are above. These directions all should be honored by a clansman, true. He who is wise and disciplined, kindly and intelligent, humble, free from pride, such a one may gain honor.

Early, rising, scorning sloth, unshaken by adversity. This is important. To what extent are you able to make other people's lives? A lot of people who are very, very wealthy will tell you that it felt much better to be able to give that wealth towards means that were beneficial for others. And that the time spent in helping others was more rewarding than anything else.

And it truly is. It truly is. go, like in my case, when I go to Varanasi and I see the people that we help and you are offering them food from your own hands. You are offering them bags of grain and clothing and books and whatever it is. And you see their gratitude. You see their face light up. You see the smiles on their faces.

It is a beautiful thing, a life well spent for others' good. And one thing that I have not mentioned when it comes to dana is that the highest dana is the Dhamma. That is very gratifying work, to be able to provide teachings. Obviously, everybody feels that they're ready to be a teacher. But Bhante Vimalaramsi once said that in order for you to be a good teacher, you should be able to say the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again without losing your patience. That comes from experience.

It's very difficult to do that. But the idea is, when you share the Dhamma, you are really giving the highest dana. You are doing one of the most generous acts that you can. Even-handed in all things, impartial as each case demands, these things make the world go round, like the chariot's axle pin. If such things did not exist, no mother from her son would get any honour and respect, nor father either as their due. But since these qualities are held by the wise in high esteem, they are given prominence and are rightly praised by all.

At these words, Sigalaka said to the Lord, "Excellent, Reverend Gautama, excellent. It is as if someone were to set up what had been knocked down, or to point out the way to one who had been lost, or to bring an oil lamp into a dark place so that those with eyes could see what was there. Just so the Reverend Gautama has expounded the Dhamma in various ways. May the Reverend Gautama accept me as a lay follower from this day forth, as long as life shall last."

Let's hear some merit. May suffering ones be suffering free, and the fear-struck fearless be. May the grieving shed all grief, and may all beings find relief. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. May beings inhabiting space and earth, devas and nagas of mighty power share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.