Forgiveness Meditation Instructions - Short

The practice is very simple. You sit down in a very comfortable position, whether it's in a chair or on a cushion or whatever. Close your eyes and relax for a bit, and then you start off with a statement: I forgive myself for not understanding. You say that a few times, not like a mantra, maybe four or five, half a dozen times, and then you just wait and see what happens. Something might come up. Some resentment might come up, some guilt might come up, some remorse might come up, some memory might come up, a situation that you were involved in will come up. All you do there is, again, say that statement in your mind: I forgive myself for not understanding. Sometimes people want to say, I forgive myself for having caused pain to this person, or I forgive myself for having caused pain to myself, or for not realizing, or whatever it is. But try to stick to the original. I mean, that's always pretty much overarching for all experiences. So you start with that.

And you will feel a catharsis. You will feel something coming up. You will feel tears welling up, and if they come, they come. Allow them to be there. Now, after you let go of that, perhaps there's a person that has hurt you, has said something to you, has done something to you, has created a situation for you where it was unpleasant for you. It was painful for you, it was harmful for you, and you have that person. You don't bring them up. You would just say, I forgive you for not understanding, and that person will come up, whoever it is. Sometimes you don't even have to say the statement. After you go through that, somebody will automatically come up.

And when they do, then you say, I forgive you for not understanding. You might say that a few times and you will feel resentment coming up. Maybe you'll say, I forgive this resentment for being here. And I forgive you for not understanding. And eventually it might take time. That's okay. But eventually you accept what has happened and you realize, as Umberto rightly said, that it had nothing to do with you.

It was all about that person's habitual tendency. And so you accept that that was the case, and you let go of any resentment. The third part of that, that can happen, not all the time, but it can happen, is that that person might look at you in your mind. They might look at you and say to you, I forgive you, or I forgive you for not understanding. You might hear that in your mind, and you receive that, and you accept it, and that kind of closes the circle. Now, this practice, you don't have to do more than 30 minutes. 25 minutes is pretty much good. The other thing is the forgiveness walking practice is pretty straightforward.

It's like a march that you do. So this is the right step, left step, right step, left step. I forgive you. You forgive me. So you say that, and it doesn't have to be longer than 15 or 20 minutes. You do that, take a break when you're ready to go back and sit, and you do the same process, and you do that until the emotional quality of whatever that experience was, whatever that emotion, the memory, whatever that situation was, starts to dissipate, so that when that memory does come up it doesn't have any emotional value to it. It's not like you don't feel anything; it's rather you just have acceptance and equanimity towards it. So the memory will still arise, but there won't be any clinging going on, no identification with it going on. That's how you know that you're ready to move on. And secondly, there will be an energetic shift in your body and in your mind. You will notice that there is a wellspring of joy that naturally arises.

And that is a sure sign that you're ready to move on for the time being and continue with the regular practice. Okay, thank you. Could you just clarify this? This is a big question. What is it that you're not understanding, and why don't you fill in the rest of that statement, I forgive myself for not understanding, but yet it's an open statement? Why is that? Yeah, this is important. It should be an open statement, because otherwise you're trying to control the situation. You're controlling the meditation. You're like, I specifically forgive myself for doing this. No, no, no, now you're actually bargaining.

With what should be forgiven and what should not be forgiven. You're keeping it open-ended enough so that whatever is coming out from your subconscious is uncontrolled, unconditioned, so to speak. Not to say that it's unconditioned. It means that it's not conditioned by your biases. It's just whatever will flow out, whatever will come up. So for you to try to direct the forgiveness towards something is actually you trying to control the situation. So keep it open-ended. Now, when that does arise, that some situation happened where you did not understand, and if it's specific, you can say, in that moment, I forgive myself for not understanding this person's perspective, or I forgive myself for not understanding how I felt in that, for not accepting how I felt in that, or I forgive you for not understanding how I was feeling in that or what I was saying. But the thing that comes after the understanding doesn't really matter. It's all about letting go of what does arise. You're not trying to analyze. You're not trying to come to a point where now you have all of the therapeutic benefits of psychoanalysis. No, it's all about an emotional release that happens. And an emotional release can only happen when you take away the thinking, controlling mind out of the situation.