Deerpark Retreat Day 1 Orientation w/Delson Armstrong

Before I read the instructions, I wanted to discuss some practicals. Number one, when you go to sleep tonight, make a determination in your mind. The time that you want to wake up. So don't do it exactly at 5 a.m. or whatever it might be. 4.57, 5.02, or something like that. This is going to be important for you later on when you do more advanced practices. But see how well your mind is able to hit that determination. Secondly, we are going to be doing... Tomorrow there's not going to be any interviews. Tomorrow we're going to be doing something very interesting, guided by Venerable Methananda. And that is what we call, what we should call it, metta-blasting.

But I think metta-circle is a better way of putting it. That process, and it's going to be a fun little game for you to start to bring up that feeling of metta, that feeling of loving kindness. The first thing I want to talk about is smiling. It's very important that we maintain a smile throughout the day. To be waking up. You're also going to determine that when you do wake up, you will wake up with a smile on your face.

And then you're going to make a determination to keep that smile going. The smile is very important for this practice because it keeps the mind light. It keeps the mind uplifting. And it keeps the mind relaxed. This whole process that you're going to be going through for the next 10 days is not a process of striving. It's not a process of pushing.

It is not a process of trying too hard. It's a process of letting go, allowing things to be as they are, and relaxing and having fun. As you've done in the past, I would request that you keep it in a box and set it aside for the next 10 days and give your best in trying out this meditation.

The other importance of smiling is that it immediately brings you back to the present. It immediately uplifts your mind to be mindful. And that's one of the things I want to discuss about is mindfulness. What is mindfulness? Mindfulness comes from the word sati, which comes from the Sanskrit smriti, which means memory or to remember. With this practice is that mindfulness is to remember to observe how mind's attention moves from one thing to the other.

In essence, that is metakha mission. Observing how mind moves, how mind reacts, how mind thinks, how mind meditates. Mind when it is meditating. You do not become the meditator. So keep that in mind when you sit down for your practice. Now, as for the practice, you start off with a smile, like I said, a small smile. When you see the picture of meditators in the Buddha, you see that they have a little smile on their face.

Put a smile there. Put a smile in your heart. A smile in your mind. A smile in your eyes. And relax. And then when you sit down for meditation, you can sit cross-legged. You can sit on the chair. Whatever works for you. And you want to keep your back relatively straight. Your chin parallel to the floor. And you want to keep your full body relaxed.

So find if there's any tension in the body and just intend to relax it. Now, this meditation is a feeling meditation, which means you are feeling something in your body. It's a psychosomatic experience. And that's the feeling of loving kindness, which is this warmth in your heart, in your chest, like a candle flame that keeps glowing. To bring up that feeling, you can do it a few ways. You can use phrases in the mind like, may I be happy, may I be well, may I be free of suffering, may I be filled with loving kindness.

And you can say this in your mind a few times. But don't chant it in your mind like a mantra. It's just to keep the feeling going. Or you can bring up a wholesome image, something from your past, something that uplifts the mind. You can imagine yourself holding a little chubby baby over your arms and look into its eyes and let it smile at you and smile back at you. Or a little puppy, or a little kitten. Whatever makes your mind uplifted.

And another way is to start to think about the things that you are grateful for. Gratitude. So the key here is once you start, whether it's the phrasing, a wholesome memory, a wholesome image, or gratitude. Once you tap into the feeling in your heart, let go of the phrases, let go of the images, and then rest your awareness on that feeling. This is the metta. For the first 10 minutes of the meditation, you are going to be sending yourself metta. And you're going to rest your awareness there. After 10 minutes,

you will then switch over to a spiritual friend. Your kalyana mitta. Now, when I say spiritual friend, sometimes people think that that means somebody who is spiritually perfect. Not necessarily. It's somebody that you admire. Somebody you might be best friends with. Somebody you like. Somebody you know. Somebody you see in the public life that you admire. The key is this person that you think of immediately brings a smile to your face. So this person should be of the same sex, should be alive, and should not be a family member.

We will deal with family members later. For the time being, we are dealing with one spiritual friend. And there are a couple of ways to send this loving kindness to your spiritual friend. You can imagine them in front of you, smiling, and there's a heart-to-heart connection where you are sending that feeling of loving kindness to that spiritual friend.

Or, if it feels like you're pushing too much, take that spiritual friend and put them in your heart, and keep the feeling going. And imagine that they are just basking in that feeling of metta. Now you want to meditate for a minimum of 30 minutes. No less than 30 minutes. If you can sit longer, good. But at least for 30 minutes.

When you meditate, you will inevitably become distracted. You have to understand what distractions are, what hindrances are. Hindrances are your best friends. Hindrances are your teachers. Hindrances shed light on where your attachments and the sources of your aversion. If you have any aversion to the hindrance that arises, you have to change that. You have to reframe your relationship with distractions.

Be open to having them. Completely fine. What is a distraction? What is a hindrance? A distraction is that which pulls your attention away completely from the object of meditation. In other words, when you are meditating and you are feeling loving-kindness and you notice thoughts in the background, that's fine. Those thoughts will dissipate because there is a lack of attention being given to them. When you are with your feeling of loving-kindness and then suddenly your mind is thinking about something else, maybe it hears something in the distance, and it goes through that, and now it takes you into a vortex of different kinds of thoughts. Now you are not with the feeling of loving kindness.

That is a distraction. So how do you deal with distractions? The Buddha prescribed right effort. We will be going deeper into this, but just for your understanding, there are four components to right effort. The first is to prevent unarisen, unwholesome states from the rising. The second is to abandon already arisen unwholesome states. The third is to generate wholesome states of mind. And the fourth is to maintain that wholesome state of mind. So how do you do this? We use a mnemonic advice to help you remember how to do this. And that is known as the six R's. The six R's are recognize, release, relax, re-smile, return, and repeat.

What is recognize? Recognize means to remember, to bring back your mindfulness. So as soon as you realize that you are distracted, let's say you are meditating, you're with your object, with the feeling of love and kindness, staying with your spiritual friend, all of a sudden you think about something at home, or you forgot to do something, now you're no longer with the object. And now you're in that whirlpool of different kinds of thoughts.

But eventually you recognize, oh wait, I'm distracted. I'm no longer meditating. Now your metacognition is back. And so that's the first step. You recognize that you were distracted. Then you release your attention from that distraction. And that's easy because all you have to do is take your attention from that, bring it back to mind and body. And then you relax.

When we talk about relax, this is tranquilizing the formations. Craving, kamyam, krishna. This is defined in many different ways. But with this practice, what we found is that craving manifests as tightness and tension in the mind and body. Anytime you have a distracting thought, your mind contracts. Physically, for a moment, contracts. And there is tension in there.

So when you relax, you are relaxing any tightness and tension that you're holding in the body and in the mind. And as you relax, you will find that there is a spaciousness, an openness in the mind. Once you relax, the mind is like a clear, open, cloudless blue sky. And this is a preview of nibbana, the cessation of suffering.

Once you've relaxed, you come back to the smile, because this is how you started the meditation. And then, using that as an anchor, you come back to the feeling of loving kindness. When you get distracted, you repeat again. This process of the six R's is to be not only in meditation, whether it's sitting or walking, but all the time.

It's a process of reconditioning your mind. Throughout your life, at some point or another, or throughout your many lives, let's say, the conditioning has been such that the mind sees something that it wants, something that is pleasant, and it says, I like it. And when it says, I like it, it says, I want it. And there is a contraction in the mind and in the body in preparation to get it. And as soon as it satisfies that craving, it experiences relief.

On the flip side of that, if there is something that is unpleasant, the mind says, I don't like that. I don't want that. And tries to push it away. To try and push it away, it prepares itself in that fight or flight kind of mindset. And it does that by contracting the muscles of the body and by contracting the mind.

And as soon as the source of the aversion goes away, it feels relief. And this is how the mind is reconditioned to react. But when you use the six R's, you are reconditioning the mind. First, you are deconditioning that process that was almost automatic when it comes to anything that causes attachment or aversion or identification with that process. Because now, when you 6R, when you recognize that there's craving, that there's a distraction, you release your attention from that. You relax the tightness and tension. You feel relief in that moment. Come back to the smile, back to a more balanced mind or your object of meditation.

Now what happens? Now you've already felt relief. So why pray? Why not aversion? So that relief that you had experienced before as a result of satisfying your freedom or as a result of pushing the source of your aversion away, that relief you experienced before. Before the freedom can completely manifest, you... So when you feel that relief, you no longer feel connected or identified with any of that process.

So this is the importance of the six R's for daily use in your life. Now, in terms of the walking meditation, the walking meditation is very simple. All you're doing is you're walking at a normal pace, up and down the stairs, around the garden, wherever it is you like to walk. And one very apparent distraction that you will find is in the sky. Paragliders. So when you see them, don't get frightened. Don't get distracted by them.

When you're walking, just look ahead of you at a normal pace. You don't need to do any kind of slow meditative walking. Walk at a normal pace. And bring up that feeling of loving kindness. And let your awareness be infused with that feeling of metta. Just stay with your spiritual friend. Stay with that feeling of loving kindness. And keep that going. And when you get distracted while you're walking, you do the same thing. Recognize you are distracted. Release yourself from that distraction. Relax the mind and body.

We smile and return back to our object of meditation. And then repeat whenever necessary. Now, when you are doing this process of the six R's, you don't want to say, okay, now I'm recognizing. Now I'm releasing. Now I'm relaxing. Now I'm re-smiling. Now I'm returning. You don't have to do that. Just do it. Don't make it like a mantra. In the process, you notice that you're distracted. That's recognizing.

Now you bring your awareness back to the mind and body. That's releasing. You're consciously relaxed. That's relaxing. You come back to the smile. If you're already smiling, great. And you come back to your object of meditation. This is a flow. It should take you no more than three to four seconds to do the six R's. Less than that would be ideal. Meditation. You can walk for, say, 15 to 20 minutes.

You want to sit for longer. So, as I said, a minimum of 30 minutes, 45 minutes is better. One hour is even better. And then intersperse that with some walking to keep the blood moving. And then for those who have gone a little more advanced, because there are some previous students in this retreat. For those of you who are doing what's known as the Six Directions, all you have to do is bring up the feeling of loving kindness or whatever brahmavihara it might be, and radiate it in each direction, whatever order you want in each of the six directions. That's forwards, backwards, right, left, below you, above you. Each direction for five minutes.

And then in all directions, like a bubble that continues to expand for as long as you can maintain it. And of course, when you get distracted, use the six R's. Eventually, when you get your quiet mind, let your mind rest in the quiet mind. Initially, the quiet mind is not all too quiet. But that's okay. Eventually, it will become very quiet.

Completely quiet. And you keep going. And that's it. Any questions? Yes. How would you describe resting on a quiet mind? I feel like I tend to look for something to focus on. Yeah. Oh, okay. I guess how would you describe the object of meditation right now? Yeah. So quiet mind is sort of just being aware. So when you're radiating equanimity, for example, when you radiate equanimity, there is a certain almost very subtle feeling that's being expanded. And eventually it disappears. One way to use this is you imagine the surface of a very still, quiet lake. And then you drop a little pebble into that lake. Dropping that pebble is your intention of radiating equanimity. And then it starts to create ripples on the surface.

And that keeps going until it stops. And you keep doing that. Eventually, you're going to find that there's a certain subtle tension when you try to radiate. And that's the mind telling you that it's had enough of any kind of activity. It just wants to rest. What it rests on is just that clarity of mind. There's a sense of awareness that's there. It's almost like a crystal ball that you're just resting your awareness on. Now, like I said, an issue with a quiet mind might not be altogether quiet. And you might feel like there are a lot of thoughts in the background, or even just hitting you left, right, and center.

And so the way I would look at that is you are in the eye of the storm. Just rest your awareness in the center. Just be with mind. And that is as simple as just observing, but not observing anything in particular. Letting mind just rest in itself. And so all of the other stuff that's there around you, that's in the storm. Because your attention is not being given to it, it starts to dissipate. And now all you have is that crystalline awareness.

This is the way to understand quiet mind. Actually, the Pali for it is pabhassara citta, the luminous mind. There's a certain radiance to it, a certain brightness to it. And there's a sense of solidity to it, because it's like a foundational awareness that you're resting in. I have found at times that giving loving kindness itself seems to involve a lot of effort and it feels like a struggle and you know there is some sort of tension that I get at the front of my head which no matter how much I relax it doesn't go away and I usually feel a little stuck at that point of time and I just keep giving love. So what is your object of meditation?

Yeah, so with the feeling, are you able to lock into the feeling? Do you feel the feeling? I think so. I'm sure I'm doing something that's not right, but I try to imagine him and, you know, I try to imagine him feeling calm and him feeling happy, which makes me feel glad about it. But it still seems to be a little bit of stuff. Okay. You start with the first 10 minutes setting loving kindness to yourself? No. You should do that first. Try to bring you to the feeling of loving kindness.

And if you're not able to feel it, it could be that you might be pushing too hard. If you can just feel a little bit of that uplifted quality to your mind, very relaxed, joyful. And if you let the mind just lock into that and just rest the awareness there, that's more than enough. And so for the first 10 minutes, you definitely want to start with that. And then just drop your friend into that feeling, continue maintaining that feeling. And if you're still having any trouble with that, then we'll talk about that in our private interviews. Yeah, can you hand the mic down please? Just a clarification, so we start with 10 minutes of metta towards one's self and then start to bring a brahmavihara in and do the metta towards them, and then that's the practice for the whole session, is that right?

Always start for the first 10 minutes with a spiritual friend. And then for the rest of the meditation, sit here with yourself. And then for the rest of the sit with your spiritual friend. So two questions around that. One is that many times, just because of the patriarchal structure of things, most of our teachers happen to be men. And secondly, there could be many people who are LGBTQ identified. So can you address that in that context? Yeah, definitely. In that context, then I would say choose anyone you'd like. Anyone that befits that quality of a spiritual friend. The way it has been given the instructions is that it's of the same gender. But given the fact that we live in a world where, yes, we have to address these things, then I would say that find somebody that is suitable for you as a spiritual friend, whatever their gender is.

Anyone else? Yeah. Hi, guys. My name is Prabhu. So in the second part, in the recent step, you said you do that, you raise the attention on your mind and body. Put your attention on the mind and body. I can understand the body, but how do you do the mind thing? It's enough to just put your attention on the body. Your mind is already present there.

Can you repeat a bit about how do we select a spiritual friend? What are the qualities are we looking for? Well, it could be anyone that you think about that immediately puts a smile on their face. Somebody who you admire. The definition of a spiritual friend in practical terms is somebody who is looking out for your benefit.

Somebody who corrects you when you're wrong. Somebody who praises you when you're right. Somebody who defends you when people criticize you. Somebody who looks out for you in practical terms, in your daily life. But for the purpose of the meditation, what we're saying is anybody who brings up a feeling of you want them to be happy. That is a spiritual friend in that context.

No, initially you want to stay with one spiritual friend. So for the purpose of the practice, initially you stay with one. And then later on we will talk about multiple spiritual friends and family members and so on and so forth. Certain things have to happen for that to happen, to qualify for that. So that'll happen when you tell me what's going on with your meditation, and then I will change your meditation accordingly. Yes. Because the spiritual friend has the element of something more super mundane. That's why I explained that spiritual doesn't really mean somebody who is spiritually perfect. It's just a friend. Somebody that you want their happiness. When we are practicing the six directions, do we ask you to start with the first ten minutes?

You can, if it helps you lock into the feeling. But if you just want to start from the first direction, go for that. Thanks. Just with the Relax step, do you find a kind of commonality on specifically where people are relaxing? Like, is it usually people relaxing the neck or the shoulders or the chest? It can be different for different people. I can't say what you look at the people who might do. Do you find that there's a... I would say normally the... But it's really more of a mental relaxation as well. So you might notice a subtle physical tension, but then as your practice becomes more and more refined, the Relax step is that it's almost like you've clenched onto some distraction with your mind.

Like your mind has just grasped onto something. And then you'll notice that when you release the mind, there's just this relaxation in and of itself. It might not be a physical sensation in the body. So, actually, I'll give you a little experiment now, because this helps some people get the sense for the Relax step. If everyone will just put their finger in front of you and then take a moment to focus just on the tip of your finger with all of your attention.

And block everything else out, just focusing solely on the tip of your finger. And now release your gaze so that you let in your entire peripheral vision. So you're no longer looking at your finger, you're just letting in everything in your field of awareness. And then you can go back and forth a couple of times. And notice how your mind kind of clenches on to focus on the tip, and there's a little bit of tension there.

And then you'll notice as you release and open up your awareness, there's this kind of relaxation. So that's the Relax step right there. It's not going to be a visual object most of the time that you get distracted by, but whether it's a thought or whatever it is, that's the kind of feeling of the Relax step. It's just really subtle and kind of quick. Anyone else? Yeah. So you mentioned that at the beginning we go ahead and choose a spiritual friend. Let's say we're with our friend and we have this distraction that continues to come up. And while we still continue trying to release, relax... Yeah. Is there something we can do about that?

No. That's the nature of reality. That's the nature of experience. It rises and passes away. So when you do the 6R's, you might have to do it a hundred times in one moment. The practice is to continue to do it every time you get distracted. And so what you're teaching yourself, because remember, this whole practice is all about teaching yourself. Your mind is your own teacher.

We can only guide you in terms of where the path leads. You know, where to go. Don't go this way. Try this way. Try that. But you have to be able to actually walk the path. So in walking the path, you start to see for yourself, oh, every time I get distracted, it's because I'm putting too much effort, and because of that, restlessness can arise and more tightness and tension can arise. Or you're teaching yourself that, okay, well, this is the nature of the mind. It will continue to be distracted until it's not.

But what you will find if you are diligently, not striving, not pushing, but diligently in the sense of sincerely doing the effort and not becoming bogged down by it. As we continue the talk on the 6R's over the next few days, you'll see how it fulfills a lot of the different aspects of the practice in the Dhamma. But one of the things that it does is it starts to develop your equanimity, so that even if a distraction happens, no big deal. You know, you don't care. It's fine. But as many distractions come up, that's as many times you 6R. So by the end of this retreat, you are going to feel disenchanted with the word 6R's.

You're going to feel nauseated by the continuous usage of the word 6R's. And probably most of the answers to your questions are going to be, do the 6R's. Yeah, please pass the mic. Yeah, so I'm a bit confused about the process. The first is yourself. That's 10 minutes. The second is your friend, which is another 10 minutes. No, no. It's for the rest of the practice. It's for the rest of the time that you sit or meditate. Right. Or walk. Right. Okay. Was that the question? Yeah. Okay. In every sitting, you start with yourself for 10 minutes? In every sitting, you start with yourself for 10 minutes. If you can't? Is there somebody that you admire?

Somebody that you respect? Somebody maybe in the public life that you look up to? First of all, remember nobody is perfect. That's fine. Nobody is perfect. It's okay. You can choose anybody as a spiritual friend. Yes, of course. Any directions on keeping the eyes open or closed for the formal sitting practice? Yeah, for the formal sitting practice, you want to keep your eyes closed. It's okay to keep your eyes open. Sometimes in your meditation, all of a sudden your eyes open and they just want to stay open. And that's okay. But if they're open, don't get distracted by anything. If I have chosen a spiritual friend and I believe maybe I want to change my spiritual way, is it needed or is it that I want to continue with it?

One time. Just one time, and that's it. So choose wisely. So the last time, a couple of times, I've tried meditation. I go into this state of half asleep, half awake. Like my mind is aware that I'm sleeping, but at the same time I'm sleeping. How do I do that? What is your meditation? What do you do when you meditate? So I went to the past couple of years back and I would just generally sit down and focus on the breath.

Okay. So try to have this practice and see if you find yourself in that same state. And we can discuss that in your private interviews. Just a comment. I think one of the concerns... Yeah, no, don't worry. Hopefully not. See, the thing is, this is just the first phase. There will be three phases to this practice. So initially, from our experience, for the first couple of days, maybe three days, you'll be with your spiritual friend. Maybe by the fourth or fifth day, you'll be doing the second phase, and then the third phase. So, don't worry. You don't have to stay with one spiritual friend forever. Just very short. How do you close the session?

Oh, yes. That's a good question. Can you repeat the question just for...? So, how do you close the session? How do you close the session? Yeah. So, if you can sit and you feel like you want to continue sitting, just keep sitting. I'm not sure about the practicals in terms of meals. I don't know if a meal can be set aside. Can they? Later, yes. But in the beginning, we recommend them to come. Yeah. But eventually, you'll be able to sit for longer and longer periods where you might just not want to even have lunch at that point in time. So a meal will be set for you at some point.

You can sit for as long as you can, up until the Dhamma talk. Sometimes people ask me that. But coming back to how do you close the session, it's just a matter of whenever your mind feels like it wants to get up and do some walking meditation. That's it. If you think that the mind feels distracted and wants to get up because of restlessness, then you 6R that restlessness, and then you cajole the mind like a little child. So if pain arises, is that another distraction? Is it like another distraction? It can be, like physical or mental pain. And so there's something called meditation pain. This happens later on in the practice. It can happen, not that it will happen.

Meditation pain is the kind of pain that you feel generally sometimes here around your shoulder area, around your chest area, around your neck. Depends where the tension is. And it arises as a result of the mind trying too hard and pushing through the meditation. tricks. And you know it's meditation pain because when you move around, that pain disappears. But if it's physical pain, when you get up from your meditation walk or whatever it is, that pain continues.

So meditation pain, whatever pain you're feeling, it's not a matter of sitting through it exactly. It's a matter of understanding your relationship with that pain. In other words, the mind automatically has aversion towards something that's painful. So when you're 6R-ing, you're not using the 6R's to let the pain go, because you can't. It's a feeling. It's an experience. A painful feeling is the same as you watching the blue sky. You can't 6R the sky away. It's just there. But your relationship to it, how do you react to the pain, is important. There's aversion to that pain, there's irritation, there's frustration, there's wanting to pull back and come out of the sitting. Notice that. Recognize that.

Release your attention from that. Relax that. And what you're going to notice is that the pain might still be there, but you're no longer bothered by it. Your mind becomes equanimous and disenchanted. I could just add something to that. There's also Bhante, our teacher, who would often say that there's no magic to the floor. So some people have a body where their hips and their back are such that they have no problem sitting cross-legged. But if you're someone who wants to sit in a chair, then you're no less of a hero for meditating in a chair. And in fact, you might reach a point where you're asked to sit for a length of time on the floor, so just be kind to yourself.

You don't want to be sitting there, like, kind of gutting it out, you know, just kind of, I'm going to force through all this pain that I'm creating for myself. If you're really having pain because of your posture, then you should find a really comfortable seat. And we will arrange for more chairs in the next one. I mean, just tomorrow or the day after, as people move to chairs with longer sittings, they will show up too long. There's a question all the way in the back, outside of the formal meditation? So, for example, while eating a meal, should I be focused on what's in front of me or should I be brain-aiding? Right. Good question.

Because the whole point of the walking practice is actually showing you or helping you exercise the ability to imbue loving-kindness with everything that you're doing. So, in other words, the walking practice is helping you to see that. Initially, the mind becomes occupied by its thoughts. Even when you're eating your food, or you're taking a shower, or you're going for a walk, or you're driving, or whatever it might be, your mind is occupied. That's the default mode network that continues thinking about the past, or the future, or this or that. But what you're training or retraining your mind to do is, whatever activity it is you're doing, you're imbuing it with loving-kindness. So if you're eating, yes, you're aware that you're eating, you can eat with the attitude of loving kindness.

If you're walking, you walk with the attitude of loving kindness. If you're standing up, you're standing up with an awareness of loving kindness. So the key here is to stay with your meditation object, basically 24-7 if possible. But right now that might not be possible because you need to sleep and everything. From the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, you stay with the feeling as much as you can.

Let's do the one in the back. Yeah, there are instructions. There are books here. Do you want to distribute that now? Yeah, so in that book there will be what I just discussed with the six R's; it will be them, so you can review them through that. So the crux of this practice is really the six R's. It's the right effort to be able to retrain the mind from being distracted all the time, that wandering mind, to being here, present right now, seeing things as they are, completely undistracted. So that's really, that's the only thing that's going to be talked about in this retreat. The rest of the spiritual friend. And the other teacher stressed about not cutting it out and maybe choosing a chair.

Yeah. So is there a formal kind of structure there about, because you only said half an hour. Right, no, well, half an hour is a minimum. But, so the first 10 minutes always, and then if you're sitting in a two-hour practice, the rest of that one hour, 15 minutes, you'll be with your spiritual friend. Until I change your medication, we depend upon our interview together and what you explained to me what's going on in your meditation. Can you hand the mic forward? So I think one of the things that you said that the meditation that we are going to be doing is more about letting go and not tend to struggle or strive against it.

And on the other hand, there's this resistance which comes up. And I sometimes feel pretty confused that should I push myself harder and act against my awareness in my sleep or is it just a mind's way of saying that I don't want to do something. Yeah. So for everyone here, just so you don't get disappointed, I'll let you know now itself. For the first two days, you are going to feel sleepy.

You are going to feel sloth and torpor. This is a normal cycle through the 10-day retreat. Don't push through it. Don't fight it. It's there. Fine. It will start to dissipate. Now, what are some things you can do to deal with that sloth and torpor, to deal with that tiredness and dullness of mind? One, meditate in a place that's bright. So when you're meditating in the daytime, it's pretty bright here. Oftentimes, back in Dhammasuka, in Missouri, people have a tendency to switch off the lights and meditate in the dark, and that makes them fall asleep. Please keep the lights on while you're meditating. Another practical instruction is when you're doing the walking meditation, walk backwards.

Because when you walk backwards, your attention is primarily on making sure that you don't trip and fall. Which means you are tightening up your attention a little bit. As you progress through the retreat, you will understand this whole process of attention, what it is, like the aperture of a camera lens, right? Depending upon how much you focus, it'll be too much or not enough. When there's not enough collectedness, when there's not enough focus, then there's a tendency for the attention to become too widespread and too distracted to the point that you have sloth and torpor. When it becomes too tight, then there's a tendency for tension to arise, and from that, restlessness. Too much mental activity.

So you don't have to be able to adjust accordingly. If there's too much, pull back with it. But the tendency, and I'll tell you this, generally speaking, from my experience with meditators with this practice, there's two things that are the common pitfalls. Number one, trying too hard. And number two, non-acceptance: acceptance of the present situation, of the tarmac right now, and non-acceptance of yourself.

There's a tendency to try to be perfect in everything that we do. Let go of that idea. That's why people try too hard. So my advice for that is whatever effort you think that you need to do, do that by half, and then adjust accordingly. Do you want to add something about that? The sloth and torpor? The sloth and torpor? Definitely take naps throughout the day if you need to. I would say limit that to 30 minutes max so that you're not grouty. Just be strategic. The practice is about getting to know yourself. So ideally by the end of the retreat you feel like you're your own guide and you know how to deal with your mind and you understand your mind really well.

And so a lot of questions that come up, you might find that you can actually answer yourself through your own kind of self-knowledge and intuition. And that's really one of the key skills that you're developing here. And so that goes for your sloth and torpor. Notice what causes that and what alleviates it, and what's the kind of routine that's going to work best for you as far as getting to bed on time or taking a nap at a strategic time. So, for the sitting practice, any instructions on how still we should try to be? Still as he is. That is the hindrance of doubt. Self-doubt. Am I doing this right? What if this happens? What if that happens?

The key to that is six R's. Just do the practice. Everything will be fine. As far as I know, nobody has died from this practice. So you're going to be fine. Any last questions? Yeah. Is there a golden hogs to eat? What do you think? Leave until you feel full. That's it. And so you have to be aware, okay, if I eat one more spoonful, I'm going to fall asleep.

So be mindful about all these things. But at the same time, you don't need to be like, oh, I should stop now because it's going to affect my meditation. Experiment. Treat this next 10 days like an experiment: what works for you, become more in tune with your body, become more in tune with this is what the body reacts, this is how the body reacts if I eat this way, this is how the mind reacts if I don't eat this way, these kinds of foods have this kind of effect on my meditation, these kinds of foods have a beneficial effect on my meditation. So adjust accordingly, and then eventually you know, use your intuition, what Venerable Methananda was talking about earlier, intuition of your mind.

Whenever you follow your intuition, and it's as easy as asking the mind a question, and then waiting for the answer. Not trying to analyze what the answer is, not trying to reflect on what that answer could be, but just purely allowing it to be there, and then, an insight, the mind's intuition will give you the right answer.

It will be the right answer all the time, but it might not be the answer that you want. And related to that, a lot of what you're trying to see for yourself in this practice is how things work, cause and effect, like what caused this, not analytically, but just through observing reality as it unfolds. So we're not getting caught up in why things are this way or that way. It's how does the process work. So that has to do with also noticing how does food affect your body, how much does that make you really tired afterwards, or whatever it is? Sometimes this doesn't work.

Hello. With the feeling of metta in the chest, in the heart area, sometimes when the feeling is very strong or you are for a long time without feeling, you might feel like a pressure in the chest. Yeah, just pull back a little bit. Maybe you are pushing too much. Just pull back a little bit. Things will manifest while you're practicing. A lot of interesting things might happen in your meditation as you're sitting for longer periods of time. And not necessarily always longer periods of time initially, but only when your mind is staying with its object for a certain amount of time, you might start to notice things, pulsation in the chest, more heat or more joy coming up or all of these things.

Allow them to be there. But if you find it's uncomfortable, pull back your attention a little bit. Maybe you're pushing too hard. I'm wondering, should I now go back to the spiritual friend or do six directions? You can start with six directions. It's okay. Maybe if you feel like you can start ten minutes with yourself and then start with six directions. Anything else? Do you slightly elaborate on that or is it too early? It's too early for some people. But all of you will get there in this retreat. I've never meditated in my life. I've never done this practice. So, would I be able to, I really don't know also what is going to happen.

So, I want to know that, would I be able to learn it? I'm very happy for you. Because a lot of times people come in with a lot of preconceived notions of how the meditation should be based on their prior experiences. What I have found, generally speaking, is that people with a beginner's mind or a beginner's mindset progress through the practice faster than those who've done meditation practices before. So, absolutely, you're going to do just fine. Yeah, you can continue staying with loving kindness and still attend to nature's call while being in loving kindness and then come back to your sit. It's fine.

Yeah. Actually, I'm not too familiar with it. From what I understand is Bhante, do you know more about it? Because you spend a little more time with Bhante. Bhante was a real iconoclast in a lot of ways. He trained with many different teachers. But as far as the TWIM tradition, this is really like his. He was ordained in the Thai Forest tradition. of different teachers along the way. But what he found was when he did the, I think at the time in Burma, he was doing the Mahasi style. And he went through what was known as 16 insight knowledges, that whole process. And he experienced all of them. And then they said, that's it, you're done.

But he found that he thought that there was more to be done. At some point he met with a Theravadan monk named Bhante Kunaji. And Kunaji said, you should go back to the suttas and read the suttas and see what they say. And he kind of hinted and pushed him towards that direction, but a process of relaxing, a process of letting go in that way. be very, very hard-lined about how the effort is supposed to be. And so that leads to very concentrated states of mind, which can lead to a lot of tightness and tension and pain in the body.

And so Bhante actually spent some time in a cave with the Majjhima Nikaya, which is what we're going to be mostly reading from throughout this retreat. And he only had a cobra for a partner in the cave, as the story goes. And so he spent time reading through the suttas and seeing that the Buddha was talking about jhana as a process of tranquilizing formations, tranquilizing what are known as sankharas. Sankharas is a very multifaceted word. We will go through that. But what he realized was, so if people ever asked him, "Where did you learn that?" He always said, "The Buddha taught me." All from the suttas. Oh, wait, is there somebody else?

I was just adding a note about putting deep, if you already mentioned it. Yeah, yeah. I think you had a question, right? Yeah. So... Yeah, maybe I misunderstood, but I feel like there was a pseudo where it was talking about tranquilizing the body on the in-breath and the out-breath. Is there a place for that somewhere in TWIM, like this indiscriminate, constant 6R-ing? Well, that's the thing. It's not indiscriminate, constant 6R-ing. It's only 6R-ing when you get distracted.

Yeah, is there... Could it be beneficial to 6R every time you breathe? Like, do some form of relaxation every time you breathe in and out? Or should you just... So, this progressive stages through these brahmaviharas, it actually primes the mind to experience jhana much easier than the breath. That's why he put an emphasis on metta. Because the feeling of metta and the feeling of the brahmaviharas are pretty much suitable and resonate with the different qualities and factors of the jhanas, as we'll see. In fact, there's a sutta called the Metta Sahagata Sutta, which talks about the limits of loving kindness going all the way to the fourth jhana and then compassion to the infinite space and Buddha and so on and so forth.

So that's why we do that. But I know that Manti has a book called Breath of Love, which talks about the anapanasati in Da Vinayama. But I haven't done that practice, so I can't really speak to it. The practice that I have done is the breath of the honors. That's worked for me. I just want to talk to myself. I know the answer, but I still want to ask. I have a tendency of trying too hard. I want to do this direction now. Yes. This is the craving for existence.

I want to be this kind of meditator. I want to be able to radiate the six directions right now. I don't want any distractions in my mind. That's not possible. we perfect the teaching. We perfect the temple. As the old adage goes, practice makes perfect. Until then, enjoy the ride. Don't try so hard. Let it go. Be more accepting of the situation.

And the moment you accept it, it goes away. That's the magic of it. Start with the practice, when you sit down and you have this determined striving that, yes, I'm going to experience the six directions and I'm going to radiate from the first moment I close my eyes. For the first hour, you're going to be dealing with a lot of distractions because of that determined striving.

But if you sit with the attitude of, okay, let's see how this meditation goes. Every meditation is like a new episode in a wonderful series in your mind. You don't know what's going to happen. But you just stay tuned and observe. I always say in my talks that I could condense everything that I say into one statement.

Observe and 6R. I could save you guys a lot of time by just saying those two things. But when you sit down for the practice, don't have an intention of this is what I want to do. to it. Let your mind settle down. Just relax. Ease into it. And once your mind is relaxed, it will tell you, I want to radiate loving kindness. I want to radiate equanimity. I want to radiate compassion. And then you start. But when you're starting, don't push that I have to send a loving kindness in this way. Or don't, you know, think that if I put in more energy, it's going to somehow increase the intensity of the loving kindness.

No, it's only going to increase the intensity of your headaches. So, you have to bring that level of enjoyment in the practice. Enjoy for the sake of enjoying the practice. Nothing else. There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to be. There's nothing to do. Just relax. Allow it to unfold. That's it. Thank you. coming into this retreat, like this, you know? So in terms of prerequisites and practicals, do you want to repeat or reinforce something? In terms of prerequisites, I guess you missed out on some of the stuff that you were talking about, right, Saurabh? I don't know if you were there when Saurabh was talking. Did you come? No, I wasn't there. So the prerequisites, but in terms of practicals, is there something more from your experience that you would maybe reinforce or suggest?

Well, no, everything I've spoken of when you were here, that's basically it. But if there's anything else in terms of schedule... Yeah, we can speak afterwards. The sense of holding the object or focusing on the object, that's why many teachers advise that you get really close to the object, to the point of merge your mind with the object. In this method, I understand it's different. It's like you never get that close to the object. Can you explain a little bit about becoming too focused on the finger without realizing what's going on here.

The reason why we're doing this is because we want the hindrances to come up. We want to deal with the hindrances as and when they come up. There's a tendency in certain practices to be able to just suppress the hindrances and then stay with the object meditation. But when that happens, when you come out of the object, and when you come out of the meditation, very joyful, a lot of bliss, relaxed and so on. But then something happens and triggers a hindrance and there's no way for you to actually deal with that hindrance. You just automatically react. So what we're doing here is it's an open, spacious kind of practice where the mind is allowing things to come as and when they come and then dealing with them as and when they arise.

So the analogy that I like to use is you think about your object like the planet Earth. It's a planet. And you think about your attention like a satellite that orbits that planet. So your attention is orbiting around the experience of love and kindness. And so because of that, there's a certain distance. There's a certain space there.

And so something comes up. Some debris, space debris comes up. That's the hindrance. How do you deal with it? Maybe you get distracted to the point that the satellite goes out of orbit. And so to bring it back into orbit, you 6R and you come back. So this helps you to deal with the hindrances. That's the reason why we don't want to become super focused.

I'm assuming that while there's nothing to be done and no one to do anything, that somehow this practice is pointing or preparing us in the direction of nibbana and that's why the triumph and the wisdom. So then the selflessness aspect and all those things. It will be revealed to you. You don't have to think about it. It happens as an experience. Last questions, no? Okay, I think we can redistribute the books and then we'll share them again.