Day 1: Introduction and Meditation Instructions

*music* It's good to see all of you here. So one of the things I want to emphasize about this retreat is that there is no goal on this retreat. There's nothing to achieve here. The only thing you want to do is lighten your mind, lighten your heart. So try to bring up a smile everywhere you go, in everything that you do. And it's not just a smile on your face, but it's a smile in your heart. And it's a smile in your mind.

So this practice that we're doing, it starts off with metta, loving kindness, the different brahmaviharas. So we start from metta, we go into karuna, which is compassion. We go into mudita, which is empathetic joy. And then we go into upekkha, which is equanimity. And it's a gradual practice. It's a progressive practice. Nothing that you need to force yourself to do. The basic instructions for those who are starting out in this practice are these.

You want to find a comfortable sitting position. So you can sit in a chair, you can sit on a cushion, you can sit cross-legged, whatever works for you. And when you sit down, don't try to do anything for the first few minutes. Just relax into your body and get in touch with what's going on in your body.

Scan, notice if there's any tightness or tension anywhere in the body, and you can relax it, you can soften that tension. And as you notice that the body is becoming more relaxed, then just for the purposes of the meditation, if it's possible, you take the three refuges, you take precepts. This will help to just uplift the mind. You're going to do that in the morning anyway, but it's always a good habit to do it before you sit, before you start your formal sitting. So sit up straight, you don't need to be stiff, just relax, close your eyes, and then you bring up a smile on your face. So as I said, the smile is a small smile. You'll see the Buddha, or any iconography of the Buddha, where he is always having a little smile on his face, because he is experiencing the ultimate happiness.

It always starts with having joy, having comfort, having tranquility, having peace and ease in the mind. So you soften everything in your face, soften everything in your body. Bring up the smile. And then you can use phrases if it works in your mind. May I be happy. May I be well. May I be filled with loving kindness. Or you can think about a wholesome image, like holding a baby in your arms. Preferably not a crying baby. Or a puppy, or a kitten, or think about something that makes you happy from your memories, a wholesome memory. And you lock into the feeling that it brings up. The feeling is a feeling of appreciation. It's a feeling of happiness.

It's a feeling of contentment. And it can be felt as a warm, glowing feeling in the heart. And once the feeling arises, once you feel it in your heart, you let go of any verbalizing, you let go of any kind of remembering or imaging or whatever it is, and you rest your awareness on the feeling of loving kindness. So the first 10 minutes of the sit is to bring loving kindness, or cultivate this loving kindness, in your heart, towards yourself, and you allow the mind to be seeped into this loving kindness for as long as you can. For those 10 minutes. After those 10 minutes, you direct that feeling of loving kindness towards what is known as a kalyana mitta. A kalyana mitta is essentially a friend. This is somebody that you have been friends with, or somebody that you admire from afar.

It could be anybody you admire and respect. Somebody you think about and they bring a smile on your face naturally. And you direct that feeling of loving kindness towards this friend. You can imagine the friend in front of you. You can imagine them smiling at you. There is a heart-to-heart connection with them, that the feeling of loving kindness is streaming out from your heart and connecting with them. Or you could just imagine them in your heart, basking in the feeling of loving kindness. It doesn't matter if you can imagine them or visualize them. What matters is that you feel the feeling and you keep that feeling going. So it's less about verbalizing and more about the psychosomatic

experience of loving kindness in the body and in the heart. So now this is going to go on for the duration of the sit. So that means you sit for a minimum of 30 minutes. This is for beginners. If you are an advanced practitioner, I'll explain what that means. You sit for one hour at least. And when you do the walking practice, you can walk at a normal pace, walk as you would normally do walking down the street. And as you're doing that, you are cultivating that feeling of loving kindness in your heart. You keep that going. And whatever it is that you do, you keep the feeling of loving kindness going. So in essence, what you're doing is you're having mindfulness of loving kindness in whatever it is that you're doing.

When you go to sleep tonight, when you wake up, the first thing when you wake up, you smile. And you keep that smile going. And you keep that feeling of loving kindness going as best as you can. When you're brushing your teeth, when you're having your morning coffee, when you're having breakfast, when you're walking, whatever it is that you're doing, you're just keeping that feeling of loving kindness going. And that doesn't mean you have to keep generating it. It doesn't mean that you have to hold on to it. It doesn't matter how intense the feeling is. It can be a very small, diffuse feeling. It could be more expansive. It doesn't matter. As long as there is an iota of awareness of loving kindness, that's enough.

So don't try to control the feeling. Don't try to intensify it. Don't try to bring it up as best as you can. No, just allow the awareness to relax into it. The more you relax into it, the easier the feeling comes. You don't chase the feeling. You don't chase the experience. Let it come to you. And with your awareness, allow it to be there. Now, invariably, you are going to get distracted. Accept this now. Be okay with this. The distractions that come about, we'll talk about tomorrow. But understand that distractions are natural. They will happen in your mind and it's okay. Distractions, or hindrances as they're called, help shed light on where your attachments are. They teach you what it is that you're holding on to, and teach you how to let them go.

So how do you let them go? Using right effort. So there is the Eightfold Path, right? And part of that Eightfold Path is right effort, which is really the heart of the Eightfold Path. It's from right effort that you cultivate the right factors of the path. And there are four aspects, or four right efforts. So some of you who might have watched the videos before or have come across Bhante Vimalaramsi or this TWIM practice will maybe recognize the six R's, but I've shortened them to be more manageable into four R's. And the four R's are recognize, relax, re-smile, and return. So this is in conjunction with what's happening with the four right efforts that the Buddha has talked about.

of unwholesome states unarisen. Unwholesome states, which means you are sitting in meditation and you're feeling the metta, you're vibing with it, you're seeping in it, and it's all going well, and then all of a sudden your mind goes in a certain direction and it starts to think about this or that, and your attention is no longer on the feeling. And this might happen for a minute, this might happen for 10 minutes, this might even happen for the entire duration, and that's okay. But when you notice that you got distracted, you have already done the recognize step. You recognize that you were distracted. Now all you do is you relax. You relax any tightness, intention that might be there in the mind and body. This tightness, intention, is a manifestation of craving.

Craving is essentially that aspect of mind that says, I like this, or I don't like this, or I am this. And this craving arises because you get too attached to an experience, and you say, I want more of it, and you try to control it. Or something is distracting you, and you say, it, you try to push it away. You won't be successful by doing that. The moment you push it away, the moment you suppress it, because that's what's going on, it will manifest again but at a greater extent. The analogy here is you take a ball, or a beach ball, and you submerge it underwater. As soon as you let it go, what happens? The ball comes right back up.

So if hindrances come, if distractions come, they are fine. Don't get bothered by them. They're there. Okay, I recognize they're there. Now I'm relaxing my mind and body. I'm relaxing any tightness and tension. And I'm coming back to the smile. The smile is an anchor point for you to come back to loving kindness. The smile allows your mind to become more collected. You direct that attention. You direct that collectedness towards the feeling of loving kindness. There are two things that are most common amongst beginners or those people who have problems with the meditation. And one is trying too hard. Pushing yourself too much. So whatever effort you think you need to make, just do that by half.

Accordingly, as soon as you have the feeling, that's all you have to do. Don't try to focus on it. And the second is not being able to accept yourself or the situation as it actually is, right? Which means you might have doubts about whether you can do this practice. You have doubts about, am I feeling loving kindness? Am I doing this practice right? Or you're just not able to accept that, okay, here is a hindrance. The more you smile, the more you let go, the more you relax, the more you become like a child filled with joy and lightheartedness, the easier this practice is going to be. Everything else will take care of itself.

Don't be afraid to smile. Don't be afraid to laugh. Don't be afraid to be happy. Right? So if there's any takeaway that you want to take from this retreat, it is to let go, to relax, and to really be joyful. And that always starts with a light heart and a light mind. The mindfulness, the collectedness, the attention, all of that will take care of itself. And the reason is because when we talk about mindfulness, right? This is something that's often used even outside of the circles. Mindfulness. Mindfully doing things. Oftentimes it's seen that mindfulness here would mean, I'm mindfully eating. I'm noticing every bite I'm taking. I'm mindfully walking. I'm noticing every step that I'm taking.

And so on and so forth. But here mindfulness is observing how your mind's attention moves from one object to the other. That's it. So whatever it is that you're doing, have the presence of mind to be here and now and be aware of where your mind is in relation to whatever it is you're doing. Even if it's meditating, is your mind staying with the object or is it going somewhere else? When you're eating, is your mind with loving kindness or is it going somewhere else? When you're walking, are you paying attention to the feeling of loving kindness or is it going somewhere else? You have your mindfulness again. And then when you relax, you're letting go of that distraction.

And you're letting go of any kind of tension or craving associated with that distraction. And then when you re-smile, you're uplifting your mind. And then when you come back to your object, you remain collected. This is the practice. Now, when you do your walking practice, and your sitting practice. Try to sit for longer periods of time and then walk. As you continue with this practice, you will be starting to sit for longer and longer periods of time. We'll discuss that in our individual interviews. But if you're a beginner, sit for 30 minutes. If you can sit longer, please sit longer. But no less than 30 minutes. If you can walk, walk for 25 to 30 minutes.

So you want to do more sitting than walking. As you sit for longer periods of time, then you'll want to do brisker walking to keep the circulation moving. Now, how many of you are doing or have done the six directions? By a show of hands, please. So for those who are doing the six directions, you don't need to start with the beginner instructions. You don't need to start with the loving kindness to yourself and then move on to a spiritual friend. Just start off in the individual directions. So about four to five minutes in each direction, you're sending out whatever feels appropriate at that time. Loving kindness, compassion, whatever it is. Each direction, you stay there five minutes.

And then in all directions, allow the feeling to keep expanding outward. When you're doing your walking practice, keep that bubble of loving kindness or the bubble of equanimity or joy or whatever it is that seems appropriate with you. Keep that going as best as you can. Now, when you're doing the six directions, let's say you start off with the first direction. It's going well. Everything is fine. You go on to the second direction. You find out you get distracted. So when you use the four R's, when you use right effort and you let go and you come back, you don't need to start over with the first direction. Start off wherever you left off. Likewise for the beginning instructions, if you're with your spiritual friend, with your friend, and you get distracted, you don't need to start off again by cultivating the loving kindness to yourself. Just start off from where you left off. The interviews will be about 10 minutes long, and they may be shorter, they may be longer, depending on what's going on with your practice. Like Kuhn said, please try to be on time.

In fact, try to be there five to ten minutes earlier because it could continue very quickly and you might just want to get in. It might be even earlier than your allotted time. I'll talk more about the interviews tomorrow, but there will be three questions that I'll be asking for every interview. And the three questions are: If it's a beginner, the object of meditation is loving-kindness to myself or loving-kindness to my friend, right? If it's an advanced practitioner, it's the Six Directions with loving-kindness or it's the Six Directions with equanimity. That'll be my first question. The second question is, how long did you sit, your longest sitting? So that could be half an hour, that could be 45 minutes, that could be an hour, that could be 90 minutes, whatever it is.

The third question is, did anything interesting happen during the sit? Which means, did you notice anything going on with the body? Did you notice anything going on with the mind? Were there some sensations that arose? Whatever it might be. Now, I know I've given you these three questions, you have to keep thinking about what's going on because that's just a distraction. After every sit, if it's easy, you can write down very briefly a summary of that practice of that sitting session so that you don't have to keep thinking in the meditation, what do I have to tell Delson? And a couple of other things. You don't need to impress me.

I don't have some kind of a clipboard with marks like, 8 out of 10 or 6 out of 10 today or whatever it is. Do the practice for yourself. Don't do it because you're trying to get somewhere. There's nothing to achieve here. There's nothing to do. Just relax. Remember, there's no pressure on you to perform a certain way. When you come into the interview, just tell me what's going on. That's it. It doesn't matter. No one's going to judge you. Let's see what else. Maybe somebody is in quiet mind and maybe they want to be in quiet mind for those who are advanced students. I would say always start with the six directions.

Maybe only a couple of minutes in each direction and keep that going because you want to keep the energy balanced. Because sometimes what happens is it feels like the mind just wants to stay in this quietness. And sometimes the mind goes into sloth and torpor. It starts to become dull. So in order for your mind to be energized and balanced, keep radiating for at least five or ten minutes before the mind goes deeper into quiet mind. I think that pretty much covers it. So if there are any questions, please feel free to ask them now.

About four or five minutes each direction. I guess the instructions were pretty clear. Good. - Maybe in the marks, if I'm sitting like this, to what extent do I need to listen to my legs sleeping or? - Yeah, if it's feeling uncomfortable, make tiny adjustments. That's why I say try to find a good sitting position that you can sit like for the long haul. And we have a great sitting expert here amongst our company, Manavola Basa. She will show you what cushions to use, what positions to use, what works, what doesn't work. And you can do sitting practices for as long as you can, but don't push it. If you find pain, make tiny adjustments.

But very tiny. There is a stretching practice that you can do, which I can show you probably tomorrow at some point or day after. It's good to do that just to loosen up the body a little bit and then sit. And tomorrow, I think, did you mention it to everyone? No. What time is that? 10 o'clock. 10.30. So for those who want to attend, this is primarily for beginners, but whoever wants to attend can attend. At 10.30 we'll have a session with Kuhn and myself to answer any questions you might have about the practice. Now you're starting out the practice and maybe you have some doubts about it. Maybe you need some more guidance.

Maybe you need some other things to clarify. We'll be here at 10.30. We can do a guided meditation for 30 minutes and then we can open it up for any questions. But for now, are there any questions? Yeah. Yeah, so this is a good question because metta to the pain could be one approach and understanding that the pain is just a painful feeling. Nothing personal. It's nothing. It's not my pain. It's not a pain that I caused to happen. It's just pain. And so notice any resistance around the pain, any aversion around the pain and use the right effort to let go of that and notice how that kind of opens it up and relaxes.

Yes. Are there questions for these chairs? Are there questions for these chairs? Yeah, we have extra questions, actually. Yeah, I'll put some extra questions tomorrow morning in the overview. Let's share some merit. Is that up here anywhere that they can see? - Yeah, we have sharing the merit. You should have received the paper and also we put it on, so you can see it over there, sharing the merit. So if you don't have the paper with you, I suggest you look over there. Tomorrow, please take it. And also for the morning session, you also receive the precepts, the two pages. Please take it with you to the Dhamma hall. So the sharing of the merit is essentially, the idea is that every time we do a Dhamma talk, every time we sit for practice, every time we do something that's wholesome, it's a meritorious effort.

It's a meritorious deed. We want to essentially be able to share that merit with all beings, right? It's another exercise of loving kindness, let's say. So do it with that kind of an attitude that, you know, I'm sharing my good feelings and happiness with everyone. Are we ready? May the grieving shed all grief and may all beings find relief. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. May beings inhabiting space and earth, devas and nagas of mighty power share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.