Lightly edited transcript Filler words and caption errors removed by machine; the meaning is unchanged.
Delson leads a guided metta meditation for retreat students, beginning with posture, a body scan and a smile. He then has listeners recall a happy memory, extend loving-kindness to themselves and then to a spiritual friend, and use the R's to return when distracted. The talk ends with a sharing-of-merit recitation.
Key points
- Delson guides listeners through a loving-kindness (metta) sit, starting with a relaxing body scan from the top of the head to the toes.
- He asks students to bring up a happy or wholesome memory, feel the happiness in the heart, and bask in that feeling without trying to control it.
- Next, the feeling is directed to a same-sex spiritual friend who is alive and is not a family member, with the phrase 'I recognize that same goodness in you.'
- When distracted, sleepy or restless, the practice is to recognize, release, relax, re-smile and return, which he says is repeated as needed.
- For this retreat's beginners he advises sitting for a minimum of 30 minutes, using the first 10 minutes or so on oneself and the rest on the friend, with longer sits as the retreat goes on.
- The session closes with sharing merit, extending the cultivated goodness to all beings, including devas and nagas, and the wish to protect the Buddha's dispensation.
Themes
Where this talk sits on the path
This talk belongs to a thread that runs along the whole path. It follows the thread of Guided meditations.
Transcript
Introduction to the guided metta practice
I thought, what better way to talk about meditation than actually guiding you through it? We can talk about practice all we want, but it's actually good to do it. I'd like all of you to find the sitting position that works for you, whether you'd like to sit in a chair or on a cushion or on the floor.
There's no magic to sitting cross-legged. And it's okay if you can do that. In fact, if you see some of the images or statues of the Maitreya Buddha, you'll see him meditating in a chair. So, no judgment if you can't sit cross-legged. I want all of you to please close your eyes, and put a little smile on your face. A little Buddha smile.
A smile in the heart, and a smile in the eyes. And I want you to notice your breath. Take a deep breath, and exhale. And as you exhale, notice your body relaxing. Notice your awareness coming back into the body. And with every breath, with every breath you take, inhale and exhale. Just relax. You are here now for the next nine to ten days to have fun.
To let go of the outside world. Leave your expectations. Leave your expectations. Leave any ideas of how you should be, or how things should be. It's okay to fail. There's no need for perfectionism. We're here to enjoy the process. So we'll do a quick scan of the body and relax every component as we touch it with our awareness.
From the top of the head, relax any tightness or tension. In the forehead, relax any tightness and tension. Relax the sides of the head. Relax the eyes. Relax the cheeks. Relax the jaw. Relax the neck. Relax the arms. Relax the hands. Relax the fingers. Relax the back. Relax your chest. Relax your stomach. Relax your toes. Feel a wave of relaxation from the top of the head down to the tips of your fingers and the tips of your toes.
Cultivating loving kindness for oneself
I want you to please bring your attention now to your heart, in the middle of the chest. And I want you to slowly, gently bring up an image or a memory when you are most happy. A wholesome memory. The birth of your child. The day you got married. Or the day you got divorced. The time you got married. Whatever it is that brings joy in your heart.
Feel the relief of that happiness. And if it makes sense, you can use some words in your mind. May I be happy. May I be happy. May I be free. May I be free. May I be filled with loving kindness. Or any other words that feel appropriate. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be happy. I have to be at peace.
Let your smile. Let your smile guide you into that feeling. Maybe that feeling. Maybe that feeling feels like warmth in the chest. In the heart. Maybe it feels like warmth in the chest. In the heart. Maybe it feels like warmth. Warmth throughout the body. Maybe it feels like an emotional happiness. Maybe it feels like an emotional happiness. Whatever the feeling is. Whatever the feeling is. Whatever the feeling is.
Is the feeling. Our job now is to bask in that feeling. Just as you would on a nice summer day. Go to the beach. And lie down. And lie down. And lie down. And bask in the glow of the sun. And lie down. And bask in the glow of the sun. Enjoying the weather. Enjoying the weather. Enjoying the sights. Enjoying the sights. Enjoying the sights. Enjoying the sounds.
Enjoy the peace that you feel with this loving kindness. With this feeling. With this feeling. And just stay here for some time. And just stay here for some time. Don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry if the feeling. Don't worry if the feeling fluctuates. We're not here to control the feeling. We're not here to control the feeling. We're here just to relax into it. The feeling will do what it wants to do. We just observe and enjoy. We just observe and enjoy. We just observe and enjoy.
If you notice thoughts in the background while you're feeling the feeling, let them be. They're not taking your attention away completely. So they will come and go. We just enjoy the feeling. Enjoy the happiness. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We're not here. We are. We're not here. Relax back into the mind and body.
Come back to the smile. And return back to the feeling. Come back to the feeling. Maybe your mind is constantly distracted. And that's okay. That's the nature of the mind right now. Accept it. Allow it to be. Recognize that distraction. And release. Relax. Re-smile. And return. There's nowhere to go. And nothing to be. Nothing to achieve. Just this moment is enough.
Extending loving kindness to a spiritual friend
In this moment I choose to be happy. And free. And free. And that's enough. Relax into that. Now we will bring our attention to our kalyana mitta. This is what we call our friend, our so-called spiritual friend. The friend that we will send loving kindness to, if it's appropriate. That friend is of the same sex. Of the same gender.
That friend is alive. That friend is not a family member. Somebody you may admire from afar. Maybe a public figure. Maybe somebody in your life. But when you think about that friend, your heart feels happy. You're not. the person of sending them. I recognize my own goodness. I recognize my own goodness. I recognize that same goodness in you. I recognize that same goodness in you. And now we will allow that feeling of loving kindness. And now we will allow that feeling of loving kindness.
Encompass our friend with that beautiful feeling. No need to control. No need to control. No need to push. No need to direct where it needs to go. Trust in the process. No need to direct where it needs to go. Trust in the process. The intention and feeling are enough. And I'll just go. And we'll see. And now we'll see. God. God. God. The mind. The mind is the mind. If the mind is feeling sleepy. The mind is feeling sleepy.
Or there's restlessness. Just recognize that. Just recognize that. Just recognize that. Release. Relax. And to feel into that feeling, we need to do this process. We need to do this process of recognizing, releasing, releasing, relaxing, relaxing, re-smiling, and returning a few times in a minute. And that's okay. And that's okay. Every time we do this, we purify our mind.
Every time we do this, we cultivate our mind. Every time we do this, we cultivate our mind. Every time we do this. Every time we do this, it's one step closer to nibbana. And then we're going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. So now I want you to please bring your attention back into the body.
Instructions for your sitting practice
Relax. We will end the practice here. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes. I'm going to go. So what I've guided you through is what the beginners of this practice will be doing. In other words, you haven't practiced to him before. You're new to it. You're new to the brahmavihara practice in the way that we're doing it.
So my instruction to you would be to do it in the same way that I've guided you here, but to essentially sit for a minimum of 30 minutes. So you can bring the feeling to yourself for the first 10 minutes or so, and then for the remainder of the sit, direct that feeling, stay with that feeling, to your spiritual friend.
It's a minimum of 30 minutes. And as you progress through the retreat, you will sit for longer. My hope for all of you who are starting with this practice is that by the time we are getting to the interviews day after tomorrow, you have increased your sitting time towards 45 minutes or even an hour.
Sharing merit with all beings
We will share some merit, and there is this here where you can follow along. So why are we sharing merit? What is sharing merit? What is sharing merit all about? Sharing merit is really cultivating loving kindness and compassion. So the idea here is we have meditated, we have discussed Dhamma together, and because of that we have cultivated merit.
We have done something good with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our intention, with our words, with our mind. And now it makes sense to share that with the world around. And may all beings also be happy. May all beings share in the goodness that we have cultivated here. And so that is an expression of loving kindness.
So together we will share some merit. May suffering ones be suffering free. And the fear-struck fearless be. May the grief. May all beings shed all grief. May all beings share this merit. May all beings share this merit. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. May beings inhabiting space and earth, devas and nagas of mighty power, share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation.