Day 3 High Altitude Retreat - "Liberation" & a Guided Meditation in "Knowingness"

So before we actually get into that, I want to give a little bit of context and understanding about the practice of liberation. The practice of liberation, we always consider the idea that liberation is a one-and-done process, but it is a practice. Every time we let go and enter into the larger field that we can call Nibbana or whatever it is, we are becoming more and more free.

And we become more and more free of what exactly? Most of the craving, as we discussed yesterday, arises as a result of the sense of a separate self. The idea that this is who I am, this is me, this is myself. And any experience that arises is seen from the perspective of an experiencer. And so, coming back to Bahiya Sutta: in the seen, there is only the seen; in the hearing, there is only the heard; in the sensing, there is only the sense; in the cognizing, there is only the cognized.

When, Bahiya, you are not in that, then you are not shaped by that. When you are not shaped by that, you are not defined by that. When you are not in that or by it or in between the two, here or there, just this is the cessation of suffering. How do we unpack this? That's what we will explore today as a practice.

Just a little theory before that, to kind of help your analytical minds feel satisfied. We have something known as the three gates of liberation. The three gates of liberation are the signless, the undirected, and the empty. So what do we mean by signless? Signless means objectless, without an object. Undirected means we let go of all intention. We let go of all choice.

We let go of trying to make something happen. In most practice, in most meditation, you take up an object. And taking an object implies a duality. That there is a me here as Mr. Meditator, and there is a meditation object. And so I'm interacting with that object, as I have to stay on it to the exclusion of all other thoughts, right?

And so how do you realize the signless? How do you realize the objectless, a meditation without object? It is through the gate or the realization of impermanence, or anicca, or anitya. Usually this is translated as impermanence, but actually it is instability. Every time we take up an object, it is conditioned, conditioned by virtue of the fact that we bring it up with our intention, by virtue of the fact that the object remains so long as my attention remains on it.

But there is an objectless awareness, an awareness without object. This is free of any instability or stability. You can't take it as an object, because it gives radiance to all other objects. We'll get into what that means. So this is the first gate. The second gate is known as the undirected. What do we mean by undirected? As I said, there is no intention there. What do we do with meditation in the usual setting? We bring up an object and we intend to stay with it. There is an intention, and so long as that intention remains, our meditation is great.

And so the realization of the undirected comes from the understanding of what is known as dukkha, as suffering. Every intention ultimately leads to its own end, and therein is the suffering. When you bring up an object like loving-kindness, when you bring up an object like the breath, when you bring up an object like the four foundations of mindfulness, whatever they might be, the different 40 kamatana, right, the 40 different kinds of meditation objects, they are there so long as my intention remains, and they pass away when my intention goes. We see this when my attention moves, because my intention is wavering, and the object also wavers.

And therein is the dukkha. Oh, I just had that object, and now it's gone. So the realization that all intention, all performance, all action from that idea of a separate self, the dualistic process of this kind of meditation, ultimately leads to suffering. And then there is the third gate. What is that third gate? It is the gate of emptiness. Shunyata.

So when we say emptiness, it doesn't necessarily mean empty in the form of there's nothing there. When we say empty, it means that there is no separate permanent stable self that is in this process. First of all, when we take up an object, now that's the meditation with object, there is an intention, there's meditation with intention, and there is a self. There is an idea of a self there.

So when you get distracted from such a meditation, do you feel not so good, because there is a meditative self there? There is a performative self there that wants to be good at this practice, that wants to report in the interviews and say, hey, this is what I did. But that practice is preliminary. It's a great practice to develop collectedness.

But if you want Nibbana, if you want freedom of mind and freedom of the heart, then you must transcend this practice. So what we're saying is that so long as there is an object that is conditioned by intention and attention and choice, there is the liability for the mind to suffer when it wavers. And that which is considered to be self in the greater Indian context of wisdom traditions is seen as that which is independent of any causes and conditions.

It is birthless. It is deathless. It is unconditioned. It is without cause. It is permanent, so to speak. And it is the nature of bliss itself. Sat-chit-ananda. Sat is self-existing. What is it that remains when everything else fades? That is Sat. Chit has the quality of luminosity and radiance. What does that mean? Does it mean you see a light behind your eyes? Does it mean you see a nimitta? Does it mean that you see some wonderful white light from the heavens? When we say luminosity, when we say radiance, is it the quality of the mind that sheds light on everything else?

This is in the Pali, the Pabhasarachitta, the luminous mind. This is what the Buddha says in the Anguttara Nikaya: Luminous is the mind, monks. Luminous is the mind, but due to adventitious defilements the mind remains covered. So when we deal with hindrances in practice, when we deal with disturbances, those are adventitious defilements. I had to look up what the word adventitious means. Good, I was wondering. Yeah, it basically means that which is not inherent to itself. So, the adventitious defilements, which means the mind is naturally undefiled.

The mind is naturally perfect as it is. What mind is that? See, how I put it is, there is the analytical mind, the mind that says, "I need to do something. I have to get somewhere. I will achieve something." This is the egoic mind. This is the mind rooted in the sense of a separate self. When you do a practice like jhanas, when you do a practice like metta, whatever it is that you take up, you are essentially learning to satisfy the spiritual ego.

Learning to satisfy the analytical mind so that it feels like it's done something and it can rest. And what remains after that is what we call the quiet mind, which is a natural quality of the luminous mind, the Pabha-sarachitta, the natural mind, the radiant mind. That mind that sheds light on all other objects. So, there is a text called the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra. For those of you who are familiar with Tantra, you might know about this. It is a dialogue between Shiva and Parvati, Shiva and Shakti. Shiva being the immeasurable, ineffable para-consciousness that is beyond the realms of conditioned duality, and Shakti, the vibration that permeates and pervades through the entire forms and levels and realms of existence.

It is a dance between the two. And Shakti asked Shiva, what is the point of these techniques? You have given 112 different techniques to center the mind in so many different ways. What is the point of it? And Shiva says, to attain to Bhairava. You see, he says to Shakti, Bhairava is that natural luminosity that requires no effort, because it is your very nature.

But because it is covered by different kinds of defilements and concepts and ideas, we utilize these centering techniques to do away with that, to satisfy that, so that the mind can rest in its natural state, which is the state of Bhairava. That's what we're doing here, ultimately. But how often do you want to do that? How often do you want to mechanistically sit down and focus on your breath and go into metta and practice that, and then go somewhere, go from jhana 1 to 2 to 3 to all the way to 8, go into cessation, and then experience something and say, hey, I experienced cessation. I can do it for six days.

I can go on a podcast and get all this validation for it. Or we can short-circuit all of that and enter into the natural state of what we can call the empty cognizance, the natural luminosity of the mind. How do we enter it? How does one do it? Even the doing itself is just to satisfy that egoic mind, so let's satisfy our egos for a while and enter into this experience. You can sit however you would like to sit. You can sit in a chair, you can sit on a cushion, you can lie down, you can stand, you can do whatever you want. It's fine.

You can close your eyes or keep your eyes opened. It doesn't matter. Relax into the body, bring your full awareness from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes, and relax. Notice what's happening in your awareness. There's no control, there's just pure observation. There's no need to observe anything in particular, just be aware. Bring your attention to the sound of my voice, and in the silence, notice what happens.

Perhaps you're listening to the hum of the air conditioner, or to the sound of your own breath. Notice how there is a tension there, your attention, your process of awareness, tuning into the sound. Just notice, don't do anything else, just notice. Don't make anything about it, don't conceptualize, don't proliferate, don't complexify, just be with the awareness of the sound. Be with the awareness.

Let the sound be where it is, just be with the awareness. Who is it that knows this awareness? Who is it that is aware? Any answer that comes comes from the analytical mind. Who is aware? You can sense into it and see that there is a knowing quality behind the awareness. Don't try to do anything, no effort. There is no right answer here.

There is just a knowing. Don't try to relax, don't try to concentrate, don't look inward, don't look outward, don't look in the middle, and don't look beyond. And here, now, this. No name belongs to it. No form belongs to it, but it sheds light on all names and forms. No consciousness belongs to it. But consciousness is born from it.

Stillness and movement are born from it. Peace and distraction are born from it. Nothing touches it, but it touches everything. Nothing permeates it, but it pervades everything. This is the truest you when all ideas of who you think you are fall away. This is the great ocean, beyond time, beyond condition, beyond all causality. Every thought, every sound, every vibration is a wave on the ocean.

But the wave is not separate from the ocean. Every distraction is not separate from this luminosity. Be there before the idea of it comes. Notice the time or the point before the mind makes it something. Every pointing is just a reflection of it. But it's just a reflection, it's not the mirror. It gives rise to all reflections.

Everything that you can see, hear, think, feel, perceive and observe is not you, because you shed light on everything that is seen, heard, sensed and cognized. It is the you before you were named, it is the you before you were formed, it is the you before any concept arises in the mind. It is not awareness, but it gives rise to awareness.

And even though the wave seems separate from the ocean, it is still a part of the ocean. Even though every reflection seems separate from the mirror, it is in the mirror. Even though every thought and idea and concept object and action seems separate from this natural empty cognizance, it is not separate from it. It is in it.

So where is their effort? Where is separation? That which points to it is it. That which seems separate from it is it. That which arises from it is it. That mind that tries to point towards it and name it, and conclude it is part of it. Thank you. There's nothing to do, there's nowhere to go, there's no one to be.

There's only this knowing. I'm going to go ahead and get it. Thank you. Whether you're walking, or sitting, or standing, or eating, or showering, or driving, or reading or writing. This knowing illuminates all. It is not the known or the knower, it is knowing. The idea of the known or the knower are concepts the known sheds light on.

Whether your eyes are open or your eyes are closed, it makes no difference. Whether you're stuck in traffic or on retreat or at home or in the ocean or in the sky, it makes no difference, the knowing remains. Thank you. Now when you come out, notice that even with your eyes open, even with movement of the body, the knowing doesn't shift, it doesn't change, there is still knowing. Any practice henceforth is just learning how to let go of the analytical mind for the sake of the analytical mind, because the knowing is effortless.

It is natural. So when you're ready, you can open your eyes but remain in the knowing. Thank you. You can see how the knowing still remains. Move, thoughts come and go, awareness comes and goes, but the knowing abides. It doesn't go anywhere. Your practice henceforth, should you choose to do it, is to move in this knowingness, is to walk in this knowingness, is to talk in this knowingness. Is the practice of stability. Thank you.