Day 1 Intro Aug 13-23 Tranquil Wisdom Insight Retreat at DSMC-Intro to Delson

A little bit about myself. So you're better acquainted with who you're going to be working with over the next eight or nine days. Obviously you know my name, Delson Armstrong. I've been practicing all kinds of meditation for the last 20 years now. And I started off going to the mountains, the Himalayas, and learning yoga, Vedanta, Sankhya, different kinds of philosophies and meditation practices.

With my teacher. And I did that for a few years from the age of 16 to 19 and then practiced Kriya Yoga, practiced different kinds of techniques with Kundalini practices and so on. And I did other things in Tibetan practices. It was in 2016 that I came across a video by Bhante Vimalaramsi. Some of you are aware of this name, Bhante Vimalaramsi. He is the man who founded this center.

And I was, at that time, going back into the Yoga Sutras, studying the different Samadhi levels, the different meditative awarenesses, and I came across something known as the Brahma Viharas, and it says there it has two mentions of the Brahma Viharas in those Yoga Sutras. The first is about how going through the Brahma Viharas one is able to still the mind completely, and secondly how one engenders one's own mind with the qualities of the Brahma Viharas. What are the Brahma Viharas? Loving kindness, compassion, empathetic joy, and equanimity.

So I looked it up, who teaches this practice? And Bhante Vimalaramsi's video came up, and I watched, actually, his video on Nibbana, and what happens when you experience Nibbana. And I was hooked. It was such a clear description of what happens that I wanted to experience it for myself. Now I didn't have the fortune of coming to Dhammasukha physically like all of you do.

I did an online retreat and I saw who was teaching these retreats and I saw David Johnson is teaching, but he's teaching in a couple months and I wanted to learn from him specifically. So I waited and I did the retreat, had an amazing experience with it, went through the jhanas, experienced the four Brahma Viharas, experienced Nirodha, and wonderful experiences.

And David and I stayed in touch, and I said, what's next? He threw all kinds of things at me. I did all kinds of practices after that, which are more advanced. In 2017, Bhante was coming to California. As I said, I was staying in San Diego at the time. And Bhante was going to be teaching what we call the Easter Retreat. And it was happening in a place called San Juan Bautista. David let me know about this. And so I traveled up there to meet with Bhante one-on-one. Actually, David was there and Venerable Obasa. And it was a wonderful conversation. For 40 minutes about dependent origination, the practice, what happens in cessation, all of these beautiful, wonderful advanced things.

And Bhante asked, have you thought about teaching? And I said, with your permission, I would. And he said, you have it. So I started off helping people, guiding them through online retreats by looking at their response forms and giving notes on those. But I couldn't keep up with that for a short while because I still had other things that I was doing.

And it wasn't until 2021 that I went back to teaching in earnest online, giving weekly talks, giving online retreats through Zoom and so on. And then I started traveling from 2022 onwards, teaching the TWIM practice, which all of you will be learning. Some of you are already familiar with it. So that's a little bit of my background.

So what are you here to learn? What are you here to experience? What are you here to let go of? Right? Because that is what you are going to be practicing. How to let go. The Buddha gave a very specific formula on how one lets go. And this is what's known as right effort. Right effort is one of the factors of the Eightfold Path, the entire Dhamma, because it shows us how to let go of that which is unskillful and unwholesome.

And not only to let go, but to recondition the mind towards that which is skillfully liberating and wholesome. How do you do it? You hear these six words over and over and over until they become a part of your practice without even consciously thinking of it. And these are the six Rs: Recognize, release, relax, re-smile, return, and repeat.

Recognize means that we recognize when the mind is distracted. A distraction is anything that comes into the front of your mind. If there are thoughts in the background, leave them be. You're just aware of them. But as soon as they take the place of your object, you recognize that. Maybe not immediately. Maybe not for a while.

But you recognize. You notice, oh, my mind is no longer meditating. My mind is distracted. That's the first step. You release your attention from the distraction. You just drop it. Let go of the distraction, and you relax the tightness in the head and in the body. The relaxed step to tranquilize bodily formations is what the suttas say.

The relaxed step is essentially letting go of craving. Craving is the mind that says, "I like this or I don't like this," that says, "I want this at all costs," and is obsessed by it. The mind that is so disgusted by and averse to something that it pushes it away. And the first letter, the first word that comes up is I.

Craving is rooted in I, the false sense of I. Manifestation of that. When we want something really bad, our entire nervous system engages with it, causing tightness and tension, and we learn to relax and re-smile. As soon as we relax, we bring up something that's wholesome. So, the recognize, the release, and the relax is all about letting go of the unskillful, letting go of the unwholesome. Re-smiling is generating a wholesome state of mind.

Anytime you see an image of the Buddha, a statue, any kind of icon of the Buddha, you will see him smiling. He has a serene, tranquil smile because he has let go. And it's not just a smile here. It's a smile in the heart. Smiling allows for us to be mindful. You will see somewhere around on the campus, there is a poster that says SMILE, and it stands for different things. S-M-I-L-E. Take a look at it. It's very useful.

But when you smile, your mind becomes centered. Your mind engages with what is arising in the present moment as it arises. And when it does that, you are mindful. You are aware of the movement of your mind. And then you return back to your object and remain there, stay there. These are the six R's. It's not complicated.

It doesn't take you more than three to four seconds at the most to roll your R's. Recognize, oh, I'm distracted. Release, let go, relax, tranquilize the body, re-smile, come back to your object. That's it. That your mind is distracted. But once you notice that it was distracted, coming back to your object in this way fulfills right effort.

It's not about jerking your mind away and bringing it and forcing it down to look at the object. There is a method to this. Oftentimes, and this is very important to understand, people will mix practices. They may have gone to a different kind of retreat. They may have learned something on YouTube. They may have read something in a book, and maybe out of habitude of going through that same practice, they may engage with that practice while also doing what we're doing here.

That will not work. That is ineffective. So my suggestion to all of you is to take whatever you have learned, put it in a box, lock it up, and keep it aside. Come into this practice as a beginner. enabled me to have great success with this practice. The beginner's mind. If you can be that level of innocence regarding the practice, with that level of curiosity, with that level of interest, with that level of playfulness and joy, because that is what the practice is.

Cultivating joy, cultivating peace, cultivating relief. So the more you're able to be light in your mind and in your heart, the more you're able to laugh and smile, the easier this practice will be for you. Because what we are doing here is the practice of the Brahma Viharas. Metta. That will be your object. How do you feel into loving-kindness?

You bring up a feeling that makes you happy, a memory that makes you happy. You can go back to a wholesome memory that uplifts the mind, so that as soon as you remember it, there is a warm smile on your face, and there is a warm glow in the center of your chest. There is a feeling of relief and safety and happiness in this.

That is metta. The genuine wish that may I be happy. You're not doing this as a verbal practice that you continuously say in your mind like a mantra. May I be happy, may I be well, may I be free, may I be full of loving kindness. No, you may say that a couple of times, three times, four times, just to get into the experience of the raw somatic or psychosomatic feeling of loving kindness.

Don't overcomplicate it. It feels nice. It feels like you are in a state of well-being. You are happy. It is a sense of being happy. So you can use gratitude, you can use words, you can use a wholesome image, like holding a baby in your arms, preferably one that's not crying, right? A cat or a little puppy.

And the beautiful thing is we have great pets here, especially that one, Sukkah, the fat cat. He loves to just climb and sit in your lap, and he will show you who's boss. So we have wonderful pets here that you can pet and be with and feel into that loving kindness. Once you have that going, you don't need to bring up the image again, to bring up the words that brought it up. You don't need to bring up the memory or gratitude or whatever it is that you used to feel into the loving kindness.

Just let your attention rest in the glow, in the warmth, in the feeling. Just as you would be lying down on a beach and basking in a beautiful day. That's all you have to do. And you do this for a while, maybe 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes, whatever feels good for you. And invariably, you will be distracted, and that is okay, because every distraction is a friend.

Every distraction is a teacher. This is where your attachments lie. This is where your aversion lies. This is where you take things too seriously. This is where you take things too personally. This is where you identify with things. And so you become grateful for that. You're teaching yourself. Your mind is learning from itself and actually doing the practice of mindfulness.

Oh, here is a distraction. I have recognized it. I release it. I let it go. I have relaxed tightness and tension, the craving. I come back to the re-smile, so I am back in mindfulness, and I return back to my object, and I am meditating in earnest. And you may need to 6R a hundred times in one minute, and that's okay.

Every time you do this, you recenter the mind. Every time you do this, you bring up mindfulness. Every time you do this, your mind gets that much deeper and more collected. So don't be afraid of distractions. Don't have aversion to the distractions. See them for what they are. And every time you do that, you are teaching the mind how to let go.

Because ultimately, it's not about sitting on the cushion. That is the formal practice. What you do with that in daily life, how you apply that when situations get difficult, is the real test of your practice. tool to be done only when you're sitting or walking. But anytime that you notice your mind getting distracted, no longer in the present moment, no longer able to engage with life with joy and happiness and acceptance, that's the beauty of the right effort. It can be utilized at any place at any time.

Now, I mentioned walking. How do you do the walking practice? You will walk at a normal pace as you would walk down the street. You don't need to pay attention to how slowly you're walking, how the feet touch the ground, and all of those other things. will be staying with the feeling of loving-kindness. Namely, with the feeling of loving-kindness to your spiritual friend. So, I mentioned to you the first 10 to 15 minutes, you are feeling into the loving-kindness.

And you will sit for a minimum of 30 minutes. After 10 to 15 minutes, you direct your attention, or you direct that feeling of loving kindness to your spiritual friend. When we say spiritual friend, it doesn't mean it needs to be a friend who is a monastic or who is spiritual in nature. We're calling this spiritual friend because it's directly translated from Kalyana Mitta.

In fact, Kalyana really just means I want the best for this person, what is most beneficial for this person. Mitta is friend. Kalyana Mitta. So this person is somebody who is of the same sex. Now if you are of a different orientation, then choose somebody who does not arouse romantic or sexual feelings. So they are somebody who is alive and somebody who is not a family member. the Dalai Lama and that's okay.

You can choose me because I can use all the loving kindness I can get. So find somebody that inspires you, somebody you think of and it's like, oh, I wish that person well, that person, I feel so happy when I think of them, right? Whoever that might be. And if you're very visually oriented, you can imagine them sitting in front of you, standing in front of you, your hearts connecting with them, or that they are in your heart, basking in the feeling of loving-kindness, just as you are basking on the beach. It doesn't matter how you visualize them. There is an intention that made this person feel happy. May this person be at ease, right? That's my wish for them. That is the feeling that is the. And so when you're walking around, you have them in mind with the wish that they are happy.

That's it. Don't allow yourself to get so distracted by the animals or the scenery around you. Try to keep your attention in front of you, where you are walking. When you are entering a room, when you are exiting a room, send loving kindness to that room. your food, send loving-kindness to the morsels of food and the person who made that food, the person who served that food.

When you're taking a shower, send loving-kindness for the water, and so on and so forth. So the idea is you are saturating your days with this feeling of loving-kindness. And when you sit, that is your practice. you who are doing what we would call the six directions. If you are still doing the six directions, then start off with loving kindness to yourself for the first 10 minutes, and then the rest of the time, send the feeling in the different directions.

If it feels more natural to send it to all directions at the same time, that's okay. That's fine too. But if you are doing the six directions, I expect you to sit at least for an hour. And when you are doing your walking practice, stay with the feeling of loving-kindness and have that sense that it is being emanated out in the six directions, as if you were in a sphere of loving-kindness that keeps ever expanding around you. A couple of things. A lot of people feel very enthusiastic in the beginning of the retreat and they try very hard to bring up the feeling. They try very hard to keep their mind with the feeling.

But this is counterproductive because the harder you try, the farther your mind wants to run away. But when you are doing it with ease, when you are doing it with simplicity, when you're doing it with genuine interest and curiosity, like a child, you're going to find it much easier to do it. The second trouble that people have is, I'm not good enough to feel this loving kindness.

Why? Why doubt yourself? I understand that sometimes that might arise, and if that does, we'll talk about it in your interviews, which will start on Saturday. So don't try or push the feeling. Just rest into it. The less you try to do something, the easier it becomes. Now, you have to understand, this retreat is prime time for you to disconnect from the world.

This is why you don't have your cell phones. This is why you are just here in the forest. Everything is taken care of for you. You have every facility that you need in order to not make an excuse not to meditate. So take as much advantage as you can of your time here and do it at a pace that feels comfortable for you. I don't have a clipboard that's going to check mark certain parameters so that at the end of it, I'm going to grade your meditation and give you a certificate.

I am your friend. I want the best for you. And in that intention, I will give you the advice that is required, but you must follow it if you really want to progress. So be mindful of your time here. Be mindful of the efforts that you are taking. Be mindful of the people around you. So remember that you don't have anything to do except be in a space of happiness.

In a space of tranquility, in a space of joy. What fun is it to be here where you can let go of the stresses of whatever is out there? You are in a bubble. So take the most time, the most advantage of the time you have in this bubble. Does anybody have any questions? Yeah. If you are a beginner, then you just start with the friend.

So that's what I'm saying. If you have done the six directions before, it's because you've done a retreat before and you've progressed as far as that. But if you're starting out, then the spiritual friend. Yeah. The friend must be a person. Yes. A human. Yeah. I know it's very easy to think of your pet or someone like that. Is it important to stay on the same person? Yes, this is a very good question. Stay with the same person. You have permission to change your spiritual friend one time only, and you're stuck with them until further instructions are given.

So choose wisely. Yeah. Such are friends. They will annoy you too. It's not about a friend who's perfect. It's about a friend who are like, oh, I really like them and I want the best for them. Yeah. Yes, you're sending loving kindness, which is a wish for them to be happy, and that is the progression of the practice. We start off with ourselves first, and then we start off with one person, and that will progress to more people and so on and so forth. It's to help generate the warmth, to help generate that feeling. And it's like, may I feel this in this moment right now?

So whatever helps to bring up that feeling and then set that ignition aside and stay with the feeling. Right, the idea is the feeling is there, now it's just directed to your friend. It might be, yeah. Yes. Yeah, you. Because they are the most annoying. Okay. And is the idea that it's sort of like a persistent concentration object or kind of keeping in mind the... No. It's staying with the feeling and the idea is now the feeling is going to a friend. It's less about trying to imagine or visualize or concentrate on the friend. them. That's it. That's a flow. That is the object. But you're not, remember this, you're not trying to hold on to the object.

The object will come because you've let go of the hindrances. We'll talk about that tomorrow. But because you've let go and you're now just basking in the feeling. Because the moment you use the word concentrate, that denotes a certain kind of focus. And that denotes, now I need to hold on. And now I need to control the feeling.

And these are all different insidious qualities of craving. It's about just being with the feeling. Anyone else? So everything is clear. So we do this every night for the talk. It's called Sharing Merit. You can follow along here. this, but I personally see this as a way of practicing the feeling of loving kindness, because the idea here is you're genuinely wishing people to be free of suffering. You're genuinely wishing for people to be happy.

But when we talk about sharing merit, it's like when you do a practice, when you listen to a Dharma talk, or when you are engaging with something that is related with the practice or Dharma, then you cultivate merit. And the idea is this merit should be shared. This joy should be shared. You will see that we will be doing many different things in the morning. You will come across the precepts and so on. And tomorrow I will explain all of that. Just understand that everything that is done is engineered in such a way that allows for the tranquility of mind and the collectedness of mind. So let's share some merit.

May suffering ones be suffering free and the fear struck fearless be. May the grieving shed all grief and may all beings find relief. May all beings share this merit that we have thus acquired for the acquisition of all kinds of happiness. May beings inhabiting space and earth, devas and nagas, of mighty power share this merit of ours. May they long protect the Buddha's dispensation. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu. So just one piece of thing. Devas and nagas, these are basically otherworldly beings that protect the teachings. And when we say sadhu, sadhu, sadhu, it means well said or well done.