Lightly edited transcript Filler words and caption errors removed by machine; the meaning is unchanged.
Delson leads a guided meditation that begins with a body scan and loving-kindness, extended from the listener outward to the room, the planet and infinite space. He then has the listener imagine their own deathbed and withdraw attention from the senses one by one, repeating that each is not me, not mine, not myself. The talk ends by letting go of consciousness, objects and any sense of a one who lets go.
Key points
- The talk opens with a body scan and relaxation, then directs loving-kindness first to oneself and then outward to the room, the campus, the country, the planet and infinite space.
- Delson asks the listener to imagine their own deathbed and to offer loving-kindness to the family, friends, teachers and caregivers present.
- The guided withdrawal moves through the nose, tongue, eyes, body and ears, and for each sense base repeats that the organ, its objects, its consciousness, contact and feeling are not me, not mine, not myself.
- The mind is then led past memories, relationships, other beings and the next world, and the listener is invited to let go of consciousness, objects, intentions and even the sense of someone who is letting go.
- No discourse is named in the talk; the phrasing of not me, not mine, not myself is used as a guided contemplation, not as a reading from a sutta.
Themes
Where this talk sits on the path
This talk belongs to a thread that runs along the whole path. It follows the thread of Guided meditations.
Transcript
Settling in and loving kindness
I'd like you all to take your sitting positions. If you want to sit on the cushion, you want to sit in the chair, you'd like to sit in the air and levitate, whatever works for you. And sit comfortably. But... Hello? Oh, I have to pin myself. Oh, okay. Perfect. Sit in the comfortable position and close your eyes.
Notice your breath. control it. You don't need to inhale, exhale in a certain way. Just notice the natural process of breathing. And we're going to do a small scan throughout the body. Just let your attention sweep from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes, to the tips of your fingers. Notice any tension as you sweep your attention through the body and make a conscious intention to relax.
Any tension that you find in the body, just soften and relax. Put a small smile on your face. Smile in your heart. Smile in your eyes. And we're to start with some loving kindness to ourselves. You can use phrases in your mind. May I be happy, may I be well, may I see the goodness in myself, may I be filled with loving kindness.
Or if you want a wholesome memory to uplift the mind, you can go into that and tune into the feeling, the warmth in your heart. Maybe an image of holding a small baby in your arms, or a puppy in your arms, seeing into its eyes and feeling that pleasurable, pleasant feeling of loving-kindness in the heart. And just bask in the feeling. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If you find yourself wandering around in your mind, away from the feeling, just notice that.
Release your attention. Relax. Re-smile and come back. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now we're going to take that feeling of loving kindness and let it permeate throughout our body. Feel the loving-kindness up in the head, all the way down into the toes and beyond. Like the glow of a candle flame, it extends outward. The radiance of loving-kindness extends beyond.
Our body enveloping us in a force field of loving kindness. There's nothing for us to do. There's nothing we need to be or accomplish here. The loving kindness will grow and our attention to it allows it to grow. Our awareness of it gently expands it outward. Feel the loving kindness and its radiance start to mingle with the radiance of others. In the room.
May all beings in this room, in this hall, be happy. May we see the goodness in each other. May we all be filled with loving kindness, free from suffering. Thank you. Allow the loving-kindness, the energy, the radiance, the aura to expand outward, encompassing this entire hall, all beings in it. Without any effort, encompassing all beings that are present on this campus in the center.
Through the forest, through the entire area. May this loving kindness be felt. And now we just observe how it keeps expanding outward, upward, downward, in all directions. Encompassing the entire country, wherever we live, and beyond that, through the entire planet. May all beings on this planet be happy. May all beings on this planet be free of suffering.
May they experience loving-kindness. May they see and recognize the goodness in their hearts and the goodness in each other. And now the loving kindness is beyond our control and just keeps expanding through infinite space. No boundaries, no borders, no edges, no limits, just a continual radiance of loving-kindness, free of all barriers. Thank you. Don't hold on to the loving kindness. Don't do any effort. Just remain basking.
In the infinitude of this feeling. No borders, no center, no effort, just radiance. Thank you. If the mind wanders around, notice it and relax. And just stay with the feeling. Now we will turn our attention to the future, where we are all lying on our deathbeds. Maybe it's the hospital. Maybe it's at home. And notice who's in the room with us.
Our loved ones, our friends, students, teachers. Whoever's in the room. And offer them loving kindness. May all those in the room, our family members, our students, our friends, teachers, nurses, doctors, whoever's there, may they all experience loving kindness. May they be free of any pain, of any anxiety. May they be free of any grief. May they find peace in these last moments that they're with us.
Letting go of the senses
Now it's time to turn inward. Time to turn our attention to our minds as we start to let go. We notice our sense of smell starts to dissipate. We allow that process to go. The nose is not me, not mine, not myself. Odors are not me, not mine, not myself. Nose consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself.
Nose contact is not me, not mine, not myself. Nose feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. Relax and let go. We may start to notice the tongue going numb, losing sensation in the tongue. The tongue is not me, not mine, not myself. Flavors are not me, not mine, not myself. Tongue consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself.
Tongue contact is not me, not mine, not myself. Tongue feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. Relax and let go. Let your awareness depart from the tongue. Now you may notice your eyes starting to slip away. As you start to look around, things start to become fuzzy and blurry. So you relax and let go.
The eyes are not me, not mine, not myself. Color and form are not me, not mine, not myself. Eye consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself. Eye contact is not me, not mine, not myself. Eye feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. And just relax. Let go. Let your awareness depart from the eyes. You start to notice now that your awareness of the body is fluctuating.
The body starts to feel numb. Your skin starts to feel numb. This body is not me, not mine, not myself. Tangibles are not me, not mine, not myself. Body contact is not me, not mine, not myself. The awareness from the body departs. Body consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself. Body contact is not me, not mine, not myself.
Body feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. We become disenchanted with the body. We let our awareness depart from the body. And now we notice that the ears, the sounds, start to become more fleeting. Start to dial down. The ears are not me, not mine, not myself. Sounds are not me, not mine, not myself. Ear consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself.
Ear contact is not me, not mine, not myself. Ear feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. Relax and let go of the ears. And now we are solely in the mind, disenchanted with the eyes, disenchanted with the ears, disenchanted with the nose, disenchanted with the tongue, disenchanted with the body. Purely in mind. And we notice our mind starts to bring up different things, different thoughts.
Releasing into pure awareness
Notice what the mind might bring up. Memories, people in our lives, relationships, maybe regrets, maybe excitement. This is what we have to let go of. This is what we have to find disenchantment with. Relax any mental tension you notice as memories arise, thoughts arise, people arise in the mind. We may notice ourselves floating up above the body. And with our mental vision, seeing around, seeing our body in the bed, seeing our loved ones and the people around us, but we let go and stay in pure consciousness.
Mind is not me. Mind is not myself. Mind is not mine. Thoughts, memories, ideas, this is not me, not mine, not myself. Consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself. Mental contact is not me, not mine, not myself. Mental feeling is not me, not mine, not myself. As we allow our awareness to depart from the mind, we may notice other beings, maybe relatives long gone, luminous beings welcoming us, smiling at us.
We send them gratitude and loving kindness. May you be happy. May you be free of suffering. And we thank them and we let them go. We let go of any awareness of them. And we stay in our pure awareness, pure attention. This world is not me, not mine, not myself. The light glowing, coming closer to us, but we relax.
The other world is not me, not mine, not myself. We allow our awareness to depart from this world and the next. Free from any hindrance, any regret, any memories. All of these are not me, not mine, not myself. Free from any consciousness to this world or the next, or in between, or to any beings accompanying us. These are not me, not mine, not myself.
We let our awareness depart from any attention to this world and the next, through any beings accompanying us. We remain in pure consciousness, free of any barriers, free of any concepts. And we choose to let go even of this consciousness, free of any clinging, free of any craving. Consciousness is not me, not mine, not myself. Any awareness that lies beyond this is not me, not mine, not myself.
Let go of any landing anywhere. Let go of all objects, intentions and intentionality. There is no direction to go in. There is no object to hold on to. There is no experience to identify with. All these are not me, not mine, not myself. Whatever may be remaining in my awareness, in this awareness, is not me, not mine, not myself.
That which can be made aware of in this awareness, beyond this awareness, is conditioned. And I choose to let go of all conditions. Let go of all choice. Let go of all perceptions. Let go of all awareness. There is no one to let go of. There is no one letting go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now, whenever you're ready, come back from all of this. Back into the awareness of the body. And in your own time, you can open your eyes, relax, stretch, and come back to the awareness of this moment.